Martyric Art
by Chojuro
Summary: Sasori was always the best at what he did, right? Of course. Eternal beauty, artistic perfection was his thing, and he was proud of everything he created. Aspiring to make a piece far more complex than usual, Akamori came into the picture... things became more complex for sure, but that was quite an understatement. (Slow start but worth it!)
1. Counting Romances

Edit: this story definitely isn't being abandoned as this author note used to say. I'm a little rusty writing-wise so reviews really help! Thanks for reading!

* * *

He never slept. Literally, day in and out, whenever he wasn't away, he slaved over the same dark-wooded desk. I could never tell what _exactly_ it was that he was doing— he sat in a corner, almost crumpled up into a contortionist's position. I wondered if he and I were alike somehow. I never slept either. I wasn't ever able to understand what was going on though. There was a long time where I thought I was blind; I lost track of how many seconds it lasted, which is very strange for me.

When the dark finally dissipated, the first thing I saw was his smile and those heavy, dull brown eyes. He gently pushed hair from my face and held me in his arms tightly as if he were afraid I'd break otherwise. 152 seconds. Setting me on his chair, he rummaged through boxes and papers not far from his desk, and once he cleared a spot deemed right enough, he positioned me there. I was utterly mesmerized by the way the kinks in his fair locks that twisted and turned like a deep red ocean and the way he moved so seamlessly. His touch was soft enough I barely felt it. His lips slightly puckered whenever he was deep in thought. His nurturing air subsided as returned to his desk and scratched something down on paper, eyeing me on occasion. He drew a long sigh and slumped a bit, "So tired." But he still never slept.

Roughly 173,000 seconds after that— a little over two days— I heard a new voice. It sliced the thin air between my savior and I.

"Sasori-danna! Do you plan on coming out any time soon, hm?" I watched the redhead. I'd thought of dubbing him as something like a master although I typically grew shy when thinking of calling him so. I didn't know how else to refer to him. He glared with a hint of fury at the door just beyond me, "possibly." The door squeaked and fell open just a bit.

"You've been in here for over a week, hm! Are you still working on the same damn project?" The new voice asked. It was a low, gruff sound— much unlike the redhead's. A lengthy whistle followed and Redhead's face flattened further. The new person invited himself in and squatted in front of me. It was a bit embarrassing how close he leaned in to me, but I quite liked the blue eyes that eagerly peered into my own.

"Rude as always, aren't you," Red growled through gritted teeth, moving back to his work. He didn't seem to be much of a fan of this person. Blue laughed at Red wryly and turned his head queerly, taking in different angles, "Y'know, it's unlike you that you haven't showed this one off already. I'd have thought you'd at least used her by now, hm."

"Unlike you, I don't have to show my artwork off to prove its viability," Red replied. Blue's jaw tightened and he scoffed, "shut up, Danna." 'Artwork'? I wished now more than ever that I weren't so goddamn stiff. I was trapped, motionless, in this cold carcass. I couldn't force any words from myself. They just pooled at the back of my throat and it burned. Blue ruffled my hair and stood up. "_Are_ you even going to use her at all, hm?"

"Soon enough, I suppose," Master huffed, setting his tools down, "she is already experiencing cognition and the highest extent of feeling that she now logically can."

Blue _tsk_ed him somberly, "hopefully she's not as impatient as you are, 'else just sitting there's gotta be torture, hm." He leaned back down into my view with a grin and waved. I didn't see him again for a while. Red left some time after Blue did having once secured himself inside Hiruko, whom was obviously a prized belonging of his, and he said that he'd be back in three or four days' time. I didn't have much to do considering I couldn't consciously move, but I counted a lot. I counted Red's work tools and finished and unfinished projects alike. When I wasn't counting, I was listening to the muffled voices just outside the room. I think the voice I favored most belonged to a female. It was easily comparable to a soft, serene instrumental note, very similar to a lullaby. I also really liked another, although I guess it wasn't so much the actual voice, but the person who it belonged to was polite. I began habitually associating that voice with manners. Whenever I wasn't counting or listening, though, I was thinking about the redhead.

Blue said it was strange he hadn't showed me off— hadn't used me. Red called me artwork, and I guessed he _had_ to be some sort of artist to have so many projects lying around on top of his relentless work ethic. He hadn't left his room in nearly a week. I didn't understand my purpose, if I even had one. If I did, it was something to do with Red. I was stuck in some sort of glass corpse, staring at the same scene. I was a task of unknown origins. I wondered, then, if Red was thinking about me as much as I thought of him. He never slept but neither did I. I gazed unwillingly into the dark and continued counting and counting and counting.

* * *

256,201 seconds was nearly three days. I couldn't remember when I started counting consecutively again though since my last break, so I hypothesized it'd been roughly four and a half days since his departure. Red would hopefully be back soon and that thought simply sent me over the moon. He didn't talk to me a lot necessarily but I enjoyed watching him go about his day even if he didn't do much, and when he did actually talk to me— oh, it was wonderful! Sometimes he asked me what I thought of various things or he told me about his favorite memories and he solemnly discussed his work. I envied the romanticisms he concealed so well within himself and I wished he would never stop pouring his passions before me. His vulnerabilities grasped his humanity and laid it on the very ground between us: it was breathtaking. The door, as it routinely does, squeaked open.

"I'm back," he spoke as he walked in. My very soul could have left my body. Red let himself out of Hiruko and set him aside. I was overjoyed and he gave me a nearly nonexistent smile whilst he approached me. He lit the dim room and picked me up, my head lulling back. My stomach flipped in succession but I couldn't tell if I was smiling. The redhead opened a large scroll with seals and markings that decorated the parchment. In the center was an open circle, various kanji within the middle of it. He placed me atop it gingerly and knelt nearby me.

"I'm sure you're well beyond ready to feel something more than nothing," he stated monotonously. A sense of ennui arose within me. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Perchance, it's unfortunate that part is also eternal. With beauty comes a partially reluctant vanity." The door squeaked again and the redhead's head snapped to.

"Are you doing... _the thing_, hm?" Blue curiously whispered. Red rolled his eyes and retorted, "I was considering it but I'd rather not have an audience. Out." Blue grimaced, unflappable. He shoved the door fully open and held a hip, "is it really such a big deal, hm?" Red rubbed the bridge of his nose and gave a half-assed wave of defeat.

"Just stay over there if it won't kill you." Blue snickered and cast a lazy glance at us. He turned back to me and held up a hand sign, "Hitokugutsu!"

I felt my eyes widen, my head was swimming. Reality spun clockwise. I physically remained on the floor but it felt within my bones as if something was pulling me up by a string connected to my very core. Red placed his hands over my heart and all at once, the vision of me hanging suspended disappeared as some sort of force crushed me back onto the ground. The exacerbation of my sudden coughs didn't at all help the head rush. I weakly propped myself up and inhaled deeply.

"I have to say, well done, Danna! Hm." I looked at Blue for the first real time, then back to the man before me. Red looked very pleased with himself; but I purposely avoided his view and sat all the way up.

"Hey, you okay, hm?" Blue asked.

"Yeah…" God, my voice sounded so foreign.

"Good. Well, the name's Deidara. Yours?" I nearly choked as I looked at Red pleadingly. He simpered out of twisted amusement, "you don't remember." Shoulders slumped, I couldn't remember anything before the darkness. Was I supposed to? I denied quietly.

"Her name is Akamori— Mori for short," he stated, "seems her memories were wiped." I pursed my lips shyly as I apologized, but he shook his head indifferently.

"Your name… Sasori-sama, right?" I questioned. Deidara snorted loudly, "Sama? That's a bit... _unfitting_, isn't it, hm?"

I blushed, remaining quiet. Sasori shot him a glare, "you don't have to berate her within her first ten minutes of remembered consciousness, useless brat." Deidara was a bit taken a back, realizing the other man had a point.

"I'm Akasuna no Sasori." His tone returned to the calm, soothing demeanor I'd been so taken by.

"A pleasure." I barely managed to spit the words out. I steadied myself to stand and Sasori grabbed my forearm. He caught my confused expression and huffed, "you're not going to be very stable at first. Take it easy." There was obviously something weird going on here and I wasn't for certain if it was a dream (or nightmare) yet. Considering the sanity-splitting blackness, the sudden "rebirthing" or sorts, dissociative feelings... something happened. I was apparently a strain of artwork carved by Sasori himself. At the same time, there were things I was supposed to remember but didn't have so much as an inkling of a clue to what the hell was going on about. I didn't know my name was Akamori. I didn't even remember what my own voice sounded like. But there was Akasuna no Sasori who I, for some reason, felt oddly indebted to. He somehow made it seem like this was all his fault, thus I didn't know why I was prematurely assigning him a part or act of heroism, but he was the one at the end of my tunnel. He was the first memory I had and that had to count for something.


	2. Void Obligations

A/N: thanks for the follows on this story. I'm hoping you guys won't be disappointed!

* * *

I still wasn't used to moving yet. It'd been 4,080 seconds— over an hour— since I'd tried going anywhere. Sasori, earlier, pulled a chair into the room nearby him as if he knew I wanted to watch what he was going to do. He asked a few times if I wanted to go out of the room, and at every instance, I fervently shook my head with disapproval. He almost seemed annoyed on occasion. I didn't know what to do though... there were questions I was holding in that desperately _needed_ answers while there were questions that I simply _wanted_ the answers to. But I was too afraid to ask regardless. I was too afraid to even speak— I didn't know if it was because I didn't like my voice or that I was scared I didn't remember how to say anything.

Deidara opened the door, poking his head in, "Mori-chan, hm?" I turned silently toward him, eyebrows cocked nervously.

"Wanna come out yet?" He questioned. A chill ran up my spine and I quickly denied. The blonde's expression fell into disappointment as he sighed. I felt bad but it was for my and everyone else's good.

"Are you sure, hm?" I bit my lip and glared. I glared daggers. He already knew the answer.

"Go, Mori-chan." Hearing that was almost like one of said daggers digging into my very own back. I snapped around to look at Sasori, "Sasori-sama? But I..."

Not turning from his work, he locked eyes with me and my throat went dry. That intimidating air he produced was a sort of sheer cold that could knock anyone out. I turned back to Deidara blankly and smoothed my clothes as I stood. He pepped back up and held the door open for me. My steps were painstakingly shaky and unsure, and I only felt close to comfortable after I grabbed hold of Deidara's shirt for support. He kind of laughed at me about it and that didn't help me feel any better. Sasori just wanted to get me out of his hair for a while so I'd stop breathing over his shoulder, I was sure.

We passed various well-lit, darkly-painted rooms but didn't see anyone.

"Deidara-san..." He tilted his head back a bit. "Where are we... going?" Deidara crossed his arms. We turned right at the end of the world's, apparently, fucking longest hallway and

took another series of turns.

"I'm gonna introduce you to the boys, hm," he stated firmly. That didn't sound promising at all. Where even were we? Was this some sort of violent gang? It had to be something vaguely similar, at leasat. Sasori wouldn't relentlessly go on about weapons and poisons and cures for nothing. God, I was in a dangerous place. What if they killed me? My limbs began to lightly jolt. We grew closer to whatever the destination was and more and more bustle resounded through the place. Deidara suddenly stopped on a threshold to a deep maroon-colored room causing me to bump into him. I peeked around him just as he moved away from me. We'd caught a small crowd's attention obviously, as they previously had all been focused around a large television.

"This is Mori-chan, guys, hm," Deidara pronounced. One of the men leaned forward, his eyes scaling the length of me, "ah, so this is the new wooden whack job, huh?" Hidan Wooden whack job? Where the fuck had _that _come from? I clenched my fists. That silver-haired bastard had another thing coming, that's for sure.

"Ironic coming from the likes of you," Kakuzu a masked man beside the first, I dubbed "Rude Ass", snorted. Deidara leaned toward me, "everyone here is a whack job so don't take that personally, hm."

"So, Mori-san! You're the one Deidara has told us about," Kisame a familiar voice said, "you seem to already hate it here as much as the rest of us do. Nice to meet you, despite the circumstances."

"Such assumptions must be very appreciated," the black-haired man by him replied.

"Hey, do you even know how to talk?" Rude Ass asked. A twinge of anger began bubbling in my abdomen and I felt my growing warm. I flipped him off, turned around and began unsteadily heading back to Sasori's room.

"Great job. She's probably never coming out of that room again now, hm," Deidara grumbled. Rude Ass slapped his knee with a cackle, "if she's that much of a pussy, she shouldn't." I cautiously shut the door behind me and slumped in a space out of Sasori's way. He cast me a short glance and remained silent. 367 seconds. He set a metallic-something down on the desk. "Are you going to share what happened?" 150 seconds. I gnawed on the inside of my cheek timidly.

"I got called a 'wooden whack job'," I muttered begrudgingly. He turned to me, remaining clearly unimpressed, "by who?"

"Silver-hair," I replied, shrugging. Sasori stepped to his bookshelf nonchalantly, a hand on his chin. "Stupid to let your feelings get hurt by a stranger, particularly someone you don't know. He's a psychotic, sociopathic idiot with absolutely no filter or care for anything besides his personal deity. It's nearly natural Hidan would approach you as such."

"Being an asshole by nature shouldn't justify his personality," I said. He scoffed, "and just because something's unfair doesn't mean it's unnatural. Did you say anything to him?"

I slumped down more, "No... I couldn't make myself say anything." Sasori grabbed my arm and pulled me onto my feet. He observed me a moment and blinked. "Don't be ashamed of that. You're above them each personally and shouldn't at all feel obligated to speak with them." He returned to his seat. 179 seconds.

"Why did you tell me to go with Deidara-san then?" I asked sheepishly.

"You'll have to get used to them eventually." He sighed, "try to understand that there's a difference between acquaintances and friends. Relations are pointless." I was quiet. Ninety-one seconds.

"Come sit," he simply said. I did so and looked at him. He didn't reciprocate that unsurprisingly. I took a deep breath, "Am I really one of your projects?" He stopped a moment, a thoughtful brow rising.

"You are."

"What kind?" I asked.

"One I value greatly," he replied. I hadn't exactly been expecting that answer. "So I actually _am_ a wooden whack job?" Sasori huffed, annoyed "You aren't. Look at yourself." Seamless skin, though I hadn't exactly fully checked myself out for obscene protrusions. I wouldn't be able to remember what was out of place anyways. "You're like a second image of myself," he continued, "but unique. Eternal. A true art piece." I managed a small smile in response. It didn't sound so bad when worded as such. There had to be loopholes somehow, but I was happy enough for the time being. He glimpsed at me, "I did you a favor: leave it at that." 1390 seconds.

"Make yourself useful if you're wanting to watch, Mori-chan." He handed me a mortar and pestle and placed a various assortment of herbs and bits of strange substances within the bowl. "Be sure to crush it finely, it's something I use regularly. Tell me when you're done."

Quite a bit of time passed, but I counted in sets because I kept getting distracted. In the following days, Deidara stopped in to berate Sasori with a succession of questions, much to his dismay. I generally enjoyed seeing Deidara although Sasori didn't seem to; that made me want to venture out into the "unknown." There was always quite a bit of bustle outside of the little box I never left and a spark of curiosity popped behind my eyes occasionally. I would give the door a pensive stare and Sasori usually noticed, though never said much about it. When he did, he assured he wouldn't be bothered if I left for a bit. After a while, I inhaled sharply and stood. "I'll be back." Not faltering, I was almost worried he didn't hear me.

I peeped out of the door first and slipped into the hall. I threw hesitant side glances to the rooms on the left and sped up upon seeing Rude Ass— _Hidan_, whatever— in one of them. I entered the room Deidara had taken me to before and instantly spotted said man. I carefully tiptoed nearby him and he haphazardly spotted me, continuing to double-take. "Oi, Mori-chan! What's up, hm?"

"Uh, hey, Deidara-san... could I join you?" I mumbled nervously. The state of shock my appearance induced seemed to gag him but he patted a place by him on the couch nevertheless. I hadn't even attempted to look at the others in the room— I was focused on just being in company other than Sasori and almost enjoying it.

"Seem a little clammed up, don't you?" A chuckle followed. I anxiously surveyed the person sitting a number of feet away. Blue skin, darker blue hair, sharp smile. I was quite taken by him: he was one of the voices I favored. I laughed apprehensively, "sorry... Nothing personal."

"It's okay to be nervous," he waved casually, "Hidan was an asshole about it, but I almost started wondering if you were mute myself." I looked away shyly. "I don't like talking much but I can."

"You're probably the only one here besides my partner Itachi that feels that way—" a laugh ensued "— so you're Mori. My name is Kisame; it's a pleasure."

"Yeah... likewise," I replied, simpering softly.

"Oh, you've come out of hiding! 'Bout fucking time." Hidan's proclamation nearly sent me to hell and brought me back. His saunter was so unnatural... so _unreal_. I grimaced and gave a half-assed attempt at a smile.

"What? You act like I don't have people skills." He slicked stray hair back and winked at me, grin full of malice.

"First impressions weren't so promising," I replied flatly. He snorted and plopped down nearby Kisame. "I thought I saw you pass by my room. That put a little pep in your step, huh? Scared?"

"Can you lay the fuck off, hm?" Deidara barked. I appreciated that: I was glad I wasn't the only one he was bothering.

"You'll have to excuse Hidan. With females, he never stops deviating between constant asshatery and excessive flirting, hm," the blonde by me added. Kisame snickered, "Ain't that the truth! If you're lucky though, he'll eventually chill out enough to share actual conversation with." Hidan deadpanned whilst Deidara and Kisame continued joking merrily.

"You fuckers are gonna burn in hell, seriously!" Hidan composed himself and leaned forward, groaning loudly, "all right, all right. I'll cut you some slack. Don't wanna scare you away, for reasons best left unspoken..." My eyes widened and I covered my mouth.

"You wish, hm," Deidara cackled, a tear welling in his eye. "For one, she'd never go for someone she hates, and two, Sasori would gut you and hang your ass up to dry, hm!" Hidan placed a hand over his heart, beseeching: "Mori-san, you hate me?" I pursed my lips, shortly raising my eyebrows. He sighed and slumped back, "ah, good to fucking know."

210 seconds, in my eyes, qualified as an uncomfortable silence. Whatever was on tv wasn't holding my attention and I wanted to quit practicing "relations" while I was ahead so I bid the trio farewell and went back to my and Sasori's box.

"Fare better this time?" He asked, attending a set of glass vials. I perched by him, nodding. "Yeah. I feel better. Sasori-sama, do you... ah, _dislike_ Deidara-san?"

"As a partner, no: artist, yes." His firm response made me pity Deidara a bit. "He doesn't value things that deserve it most. Why do you ask?" The question almost sounded like a statement.

"It seems you're not very fond of him is all."

"Art is very prevalent to me. It's of utmost importance," Sasori said. "he's a terrible waste of talent, but he's a decent person in general respects. Good to know you're comfortable enough around him. Remember our talk though."

"I know," I said, "relations are pointless and I shouldn't feel obligated to talk to anyone." He chuckled softly, "correct. Would you like to assist me again?" I smiled in concurrence. I'd be a fool to say no.


	3. Weird Pieces

A/N: here's chapter three! Thank you for the review on this story. Any feedback means so much to me! I'm glad at least one person is enjoying this so far— I feel it'll improve with time.

* * *

Walking and speaking were becoming easier (I considered those to be small victories), so I did something on impulse. This was the first time I'd really taken a look at myself in a mirror; I was neither particularly revolted nor overjoyed. Lengthy nut brown hair, dull gray-colored eyes, fair skin, average stature, ball-jointed limbs, hollow sections carved into my abdomen: I looked incomplete, which triggered my consistent wonder. Was I supposed to be like that? Sasori, expressionless, watched me poke and prod at myself. "I still need to add a few things."

I slumped a bit and slipped my shirt back down.

"I've already seen it all," he said, dismissing me, "no need to hold onto any shame." I turned to glare at him darkly. "I'm not ashamed! Geez..." Such a flustered statement drew an uncharacteristic chuckle out of him. He was in the middle of another few-day-long artistic binge but he'd been talking more than usual recently. Part of me started speculating that he actually got lonely on occasion or maybe even tired of being grumpy all the time.

"Of the two points in that statement, you chose your lack of shame to argue," he continued dully, "surprising." I picked up a crumpled paper ball by the trash bin and tossed it at his head (although I missed dreadfully). "You're really pushing my buttons, y'know... anyways, I can't be astonished that you know me inside and out. You made me into art so that's expected, right?" He smirked and nodded once. "You learn quick. Unpredictable. Definitely a gem of my personal art." I felt my cheeks grow warm and I rolled my eyes, continuing to ask: "What do you have to add to me?" Sasori delicately laid a blueprint out on the bed in his room and pointed to various sketches. They appeared fairly menacing.

"Why does everything have to have such... terrifying defense mechanisms?" I muttered in sheer bewilderment. He rolled the blueprint back up and popped me atop the head. "Why do you _think_?"

"I don't know!" I pleaded out of distress, holding my head, "that's why I asked!"

"You are my pawn and I am Akasuna no Sasori— Sunagakure's disowned, renowned rogue ninja, part of the Akatsuki," he explained, sardonic. I was wary of such an account and certainly wasn't wrong when I'd assumed that I was in a dangerous place. I glanced at him silently.

"Don't look so apprehensive," he said with a dangerous smile. "You were made to be shown off to a world that knows nothing of the beauty that is pristine _adroitness_— dexterity, precise detail crafted with genuine virtuosity. Those that revel in blind ignorance should be dealt with mercilessly therein."

Sasori's jubilations nearly never failed to somehow _casually_ yank crestfallen anguish from somewhere deep within me. I wringed my hands lightly in my lap to suppress the anxiety that was crawling up my esophagus. "Is it wrong that frightens me?"

He leered in my direction and grabbed my jaw softly. "I don't think it's necessarily fear, Akamori-chan. Perchance a misplaced excitement." His fingers twisted around the space of my mandible languidly and his crazed thoughts were mitigated as his countenance eased. "It's not wrong to be scared. Things seem strange, but my weapon designs aren't created for vain use. You'll understand soon enough, okay?" I didn't want to ask anymore questions anyways.

46,800 seconds— a dash past half a day, by and by: I experienced something like a stream of consciousness. Sasori had cored me of my insides, of my very soul, and defined it as aptitude, craftsmanship. I didn't understand if I truly was as miraculous as he passively stressed but I felt like a macabre walking freakshow. A _wooden whack job_, dare I'd said it. He knew he had bothered me; and I was afraid he could read my mind and that I'd never know how to secure understanding of the full magnitude which was the very man I constantly tried harmonizing with— whom I desperately sought approval from. The air thinned with time, and he tried talking about things that weren't as serious as his weapons, but I felt so cold inside. He laid me on his desk and filled the holes that spotted my flesh. That fluorescent light overhead could very well have blinded me so I used that as excuse to shut my eyes and shut them tight. He probably knew. The redhead twirled my hair amid his fingers and but I never wavered. He was nowhere near perfect (or even close to being mentally or emotionally satiating) but I was important to him and I had to be grateful for that. Somehow.

* * *

A number of days later, I'd realized I'd been too absentminded to manage counting passed 180. That was so unlike me. But between the somber feelings I was beginning to harbor against Sasori and experiencing the craving of figuratively wanting taste someone besides him, it was impossible to focus on anything. I told Sasori I would be back later after helping him sharpen an assortment of tools. My ankles still seemed to roll too far under excessive pressure. When I happened to spot Kisame, I waved for his attention. He returned the favor with a warm greeting.

"How are you?" My elation questioned. He shrugged coolly and chuckled a bit. "Been better, been worse. You? Haven't seen ya in a while."

"I've, uh..." I bit my tongue anxiously, "I've been good, just needed a stretch."

"I'm glad you did," he replied, sounding matter-of-factly. He invited me to follow him into the kitchen and I did so happily. The room was the largest I'd seen in this place. It was furnished with excessive cherrywood cabinets, tables, and chairs; a dark tan paint accentuated the walls surrounding. He pulled a chair out for me and sat on the other side of the table. He propped his chin on his hand and sighed. "Does it not bother you that you're constantly with Pipsqueak?" For some reason I didn't think Sasori would've agreed with that pet name. I awkwardly rubbed my neck, knowing that Kisame was watching every move I made.

"Was that question out of line?" He worriedly asked. I pepped up, shaking my head. "No! No... I just— I wasn't expecting that. It doesn't necessarily 'bother' me because he more or less takes care of me, I guess... I owe him a lot."

"Are you sure?" He prodded. Well, that didn't put even more pressure on me at all... "Yeah! He made me like him. True art." I felt like Sasori was in my ear telling me what to say, because in reality, I had no clue how I felt. He half-shrugged and snickered, "have you told Deidara that?" I tilted my head in confusion. "Why would I?"

"Speak of the devil," he paused to stare the blonde down as he walked in.

"What's that look for, hm?" Deidara growled instantly. Kisame shook his head and looked at me, "give it a shot, Mori-chan. Put some muscle into it."

"Deidara-san, I'm true art," I declared with determination. Deidara surprisedly staggered back a few steps, glaring at me. "I... Maybe not _true_ art, hm... but I don't mean that badly! You're just, uh... not a bang, hm! That's it! Wait—"

Kisame gasped and laughed loudly, "damn, criminally harsh, ain't'cha?" Deidara scowled at him as he panicked to back-peddle out of what he'd said. "That's not what I meant, hm! You are a 'bang', just not a _bang-_bang, hm!" He crossed his arms and nodded once, as if for confirmation of his 'final answer'. I slumped, eyes locked on him.

"Huh?"

Deidara deadpanned but composed himself, "... I can never win when it comes to a woman, hm..."

"Why don't you speak up a bit, blondie?" Kisame taunted. He punched the blue-colored man straight in the cheek which, in turn, led to Deidara being grappled into a headlock.

"Let go of me, you fucking fish dick, hm!" The hold around his neck tightened.

"Your superiority complex is utterly astonishing..." Kisame grumbled complacently. Deidara was struggling through an uphill battle and he knew it. He grabbed Kisame's arm and suddenly a yelp escaped said man. I jumped lightly, shocked. Kisame hastily released him and rubbed his bicep, "always a dirty fighter..." Deidara's grin was certainly sour as he grabbed my wrist and pulled me out of the room. I hurriedly spun back to catch Kisame, "I... I'll see you soon!"

"What did you do to his arm?" I asked. I was almost fearful of one, what his response was going to be and two, that my flimsy limbs were going to give out underneath me.

"Bit him, hm." He freed my wrist to show his upturned hand— in the center of his palm, a small mouth smiled at me. I returned the favor, and when Deidara noticed, he flusteredly brought his hand back to himself. "I know it's weird, hm." I huffed at him and grabbed his cloak sleeve. I raised my shirt to show grotesque breaks in my stomach— some were solid, due to Sasori's recent tuneups, but a few open spaces remained from before.

"I kind of wish the weird pieces of me could smile, too." Deidara's countenance eased into a sympathetic smile, "doesn't seem as bad put that way, I guess, hm." He started walking again and I tailed him eagerly, "where are you going?"

"I figured I'd take you with me to a street market, that way you can see that sunlight actually exists, hm," he mused. Eighty-three seconds. There it was. I wouldn't have been surprised if I was exiting the darkness again— a band of overwhelming daybreak blaze. I had to overcome an influx of horror as I entered the beacon. This time, I didn't see Sasori's face. He wasn't holding me close to him. It was vacant air with a hint of a breeze that picked up and rustled through the trees, which served as a lush canopy. Flowers and grass and clouds in the sky.

"Beautiful day, isn't it, hm?" Deidara pulled me back down to my senses and I candidly nodded. "You haven't been out here since... y'know, have you, hm?"

"No," breathlessly I muttered, "and I regret it." He chuckled faintly and continued onwards.

"So, what did you mean that I'm a bang but not a _bang_-bang?" I wondered aloud, following him. It looked as if a chill ran up his spine, the way he straightened up so quickly. "Ah... well, I didn't mean it like you're not attractive but like... not a _bang_, hm."

"I'm... attractive?" I mumbled, watching him through a side glance. I tried to not think much of it. Another chill had to have run up his spine again. "I— uh— say what I mean and mean what I say," he rambled rapidly, "but who cares what I think, hm. Anyways, _this_ is what I meant by a bang, hm." As he threw a small figurine in the air and yelled "katsu!", an explosion of various colors confettied throughout the air before us. My eyes lit up— I felt like a kid in a candy shop. "That was... so beautiful!" Deidara chuckled, half-admiring the scenery we were passing by, half-avoiding my smile of appraisal. "Thanks, Mori-chan, hm..." I nodded happily and kicked an odd grey pebble for a while until accidentally knocking it into the brush nearby. "So... what're you running errands for?"

He shifted toward me shortly; had he forgotten I was there? "Me and Danna have a mission soon, hm. Has he not said anything to you about it, hm?" I faltered and watched my feet as we walked. "No. He doesn't tell me very much."

"I see, hm... It's nothing personal. He's been acting strange lately, hm," Deidara explained, sounding somber. "Things will be okay, hm." I didn't say anything back to that— the only Sasori I'd known was the seldom talkative, power-hungry artist with a deathly weapon(s) fetish. Then again, I'd guessed I hadn't really tried talking to him a lot recently. That was something I'd have to seriously do. He obviously did value me, considering the work he'd put toward me, whatever he was planning on using me for. I could at least try making it known that I appreciated him. In the mean time though, I figured hanging around Deidara wouldn't be a bad idea. He was nice enough and he'd be around because of Sasori anyways. And he found me "attractive" (even though I'd told myself I wouldn't pay attention to that). The next thing I needed to assess: were people— for lack of better term— even supposed to experience feelings? My work was obviously cut out for me. 271 seconds and—

"Mori-chan, hurry up! I'm not waiting on you, hm!" I snapped to and realized that I'd come to a standstill. Another fluky grey agate-looking pebble was nestled nearby my foot... strange. I pocketed it and made haste. Hopefully Sasori wouldn't mind if I was going to be gone longer than I'd anticipated. I could always blame my weak ankles.


	4. Varied Humanity

A/N: chapter four! Any criticism is welcome with open arms so lay it on me. Sorry this one's a little short. Thanks to everyone that gives this story a read, whether you do or don't like it in the end. :)

Also, next chapter, I'll be bumping the rating to M... just in case my mind happens to wander.

* * *

"Wooow," I gushed, "this place is so lively!" The small bazaar Deidara had taken me along to was lined with cesious, blue-grayish tents and stands. I really wished I'd had money.

"This is a nomadic market, hm," Deidara remarked. "It has a large following so it's not hard to figure out where they've moved to, hm."

"Oh, I was wondering why we were out in the middle of nowhere..." I trailed off, awing at the people around me. He laughed a bit, "it's nice because I don't usually get discriminated against during most visits, hm."

"Why would that happen?" I asked in confusion. Little kids were twisting in and out of small crowds of people, and I waved happily at some passing by.

"Being an Akatsuki member doesn't exactly gain me any respect, hm," Deidara told me. "Do you not know what the Akatsuki is, Mori-chan, hm?" I shook my head. "Sasori gets a bit too... maniacal when it's brought up so I don't ask about it."

"Well, it depends on who you ask, really, hm. We all have our own motives; take me and Danna for example. We want to show the world what our art means, hm. But behind each of our motives, none of us were recruited because we wanted to be— we were all, give or take, rogue ninja at some point and the Akatsuki sort of gave us a fucked up home, y'know? Something to do, somewhere to go, hm." That made sense: more than what I was gathering from Sasori anyways. It worried me, but I was almost happy that Sasori supposedly wasn't acting like his normal self because that meant there was possibility he could be more enjoyable to be around.

"Oh, okay. What's the main goal?" I asked, peering around his shoulder as he stopped at a small shop. He absentmindedly picked something up and examined it. "Last I heard, world domination, although it started out as a peace movement, hm. Konan could probably tell you more, seeing as Leader probably won't say shit about it to anyone. You haven't met her, have you, hm?" A shot of vigor hit my bloodstream. That was her name? She had to be the one I remembered from just after the darkness. I felt a strange bond toward her, come what may— I was aware it was strange. It was probably bad she was the only thing I picked out of that (y'know, between her and the whole dead peace movement I was basically living amidst).

"I've only really met you, Kisame, and Hidan," I remarked. He gave an obnoxious, jeering laugh, "man, it's weird hearing that: you haven't met even half of the gang, hm." Hearing that, I wasn't at all enthusiastic to do so, but as long as they weren't half as bad as Hidan, I would be okay. I didn't know if it happened all at once or while I wasn't paying attention, but the people previously on the pathways between the shops seemed to disappear. I studied carefully and, nervous, shifted back to Deidara. He paid for a couple of items and took the bag that the merchant placed them in. I grabbed his sleeve, "Deidara-san, where did everyone go?" He glanced around himself and frowned, "it's possible that someone recognized me. Just stay cool, hm." We began walking the way we came when he noticed a small floral hairpin at a seemingly abandoned tent— he picked it up, placing a pile of yen in its stead, turned to me and clasped one of my locks out of my face. "It looks nice on you, hm." A blush crept onto my cheeks— I was taken aback and couldn't help but sputter before thanking him graciously; Deidara kept that confident smirk.

It took 1,440 seconds to get home, and I wasn't very happy to be back. It was simply too lovely in the outer world. When we entered the cave, the large barrier replaced itself, and darkness overtook once more.

"What do you say I introduce you to everyone, hm?" He asked. I happily obliged of course. We walked into the "common room" where Kisame and Hidan sat with a couple of other people. I felt my sudden wave of apprehensive nausea was justified. Kisame leaned to wave at me, "Mori-san, you're back!"

"How's it hangin', Sweetcheeks?" Hidan asked offhandedly, never neglecting the tv. I waved and greeted them. I guess Hidan was actually serious about being less of a dick.

"Mori wants to meet the rest of you guys, hm," Deidara said, continuing to point each of the other members out, "Kakuzu, Itachi, Zetsu, and Tobi. Konan and Leader aren-"

"Moriiii-chan!" One of the masked men sang as he easily cleared the couch to kneel in front of me. He grabbed my hand and nuzzled it lovingly, "Oh, Tobi has heard so much about you. You don't seem as weird as Tobi was told! Do you have detachable parts? Do ya?" I was mortified. I slowly removed my hand from his grasp. "As far as I know..."

"Tobi!" Deidara knocked him in the bad of his head, "chill out, hm!" Tobi whined disappointedly, hanging his head in shame. "Tobi didn't mean to bother Mori-chan..." I laughed half-heartedly and patted his head. He perked up quickly, "does Mori-chan forgive Tobi?!" I nodded awkwardly. "S-sure?"

"Yaaa-tta!" He exclaimed, popping up to his feet. "Tobi can show Mori-chan all the ropes around here if she wa-" Deidara grabbed his ear and yanked him out of the way, glowering at him as he did so.

"Deidara-senpai can't hog Mori-chan," he muttered, rubbing his ear.

"Yeah, what the twerp said, Deidara," Kisame added in, chuckling all the while.

"I-I haven't been hogging her, hm!" He protested quickly. "Not my fault no one else will take her places, hm..."

"Who the fuck said _I_ won't?" Hidan pitched in. "I'd take her tons of places, seriously, we just have to decide where. C'mere, Mori-chan. Sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up." He winked at me with a cocky grin plastered on his face.

"You perverted bitch!" I yelled, utterly shocked at him and myself. Everyone locked onto me— Deidara even.

"Oh, so you are feisty! I just had to pull it outta you," he said with a charismatic charm, "I can't promise I always pull out though." The room settled into total silence. He rubbed his head, still goofily smiling. "Man, what a selfish bitch. You'll have that body to yourself all your life but you can't spare it one night?" I opened my mouth to hurl a comeback but Tobi held a finger up, "question for Mori-chan!" I raised a brow, annoyed, and listened as he cleared his throat. "Does Mori-chan have sex even though Mori-chan isn't human?"

"Shit, wanna test it out?" Hidan didn't miss a beat. The group absolutely died off-their-asses laughing— and I meant, _died_— besides perhaps Itachi and Kakuzu.

"You'd be the last person I'd _ever _test that out with!" I yelled, feeling tears pricking at my eyes. I'd always been way too sensitive under pressure, and I was currently down for the count. My face was beet red and I'd resorted to my common tactic: making as crazy and mad of a dash that my limbs would allow, straight to the impenetrable protection of Sasori's room. I hastily blinked the tears away before calmly pushing his door open. That same damn squeak assaulted my ears with no mercy. I was expecting to see him at his desk, but rather, he sat on his bed, back against the wall, looking so very dull; I could only tell due to the low lighting. He remained immovable. I shut the door and sighed.

"Akamori-chan," His voice almost came as a whisper, "come here." I blinked, confusion setting in. When I was close enough, he gingerly pulled me onto the bed and into his chest.

"Sasori-sama, what're you doing?" I mumbled, feeling like I'd just been electrocuted. Sasori breathed deep and his fingers slid around me onto my back softly. "Feeling," he replied monotonously. I sat between his legs, my forehead pressed to his neck. "Feeling... what?"

"I'm unsure. Something I forgot was conceptually real. It's a mix of things. When I look at you, I can feel guilt searing my insides," he explained, his voice flat still. "I remember things I shouldn't."

"I'm sorry." I was unknowing of the right to say. He laid a hand on my neck. "An artist's soul lives on through his work for the remainder of eternity, and you are the very humanity that is left in me. Don't be sorry." My breathing hitched and I felt my heart skip a beat. "Deidara said that you've been acting strange... Is this what's normal for you?"

"No. I've never done this," Sasori whispered. "Though it's... disgustingly comforting." A faint smile prodded at my lips— he and I were the same there, in present position and thought both, among other things.

8,799 seconds and blackness began to envelope the room. I thought Sasori had reached the light to put it out, but I couldn't be sure. I could barely even remember him having moved. Part of me felt so oddly at home and part of me wondered if this was how normal people felt emotions and what emotion this would've been called. My brain was numb and my heart was racing but I could only muster enough strength to close my eyes.


	5. Grieving Travesties

I couldn't bring myself to count: I wasn't sure if it'd been because I'd forgotten to or because I was concerned by the fact that some amount of seconds could measure how long Sasori acted like he bore humanity. When I didn't put a numerical tag on it, it _seemed_ like he was conscious of the material realness around him, and it _seemed_ like it lasted for hours. When I opened my eyes, I realized I'd been laid on my side and left alone in the dark. I jolted onto my feet, nearly rolling an ankle in the process, and tiptoed down the dingy hall. Over time, I'd managed to memorize which room was Deidara's so I knocked on it lightly. I heard a small thud and rustle and soon after, the door fell open. He looked pissed until shock eased onto his countenance. "Mori-chan... what're you doing up so late, hm?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize how late it was... do you know where Sasori-sama is?" I whispered.

"He mentioned going out or something," he said through a yawn, "I wouldn't worry too much. Danna can handle himself, hm." I nodded and sighed, "well, I'm sorry that I bothered you. I al-"

"Wanna come in, hm?" He asked quietly. I paused a moment: why was he inviting me in? Did I do something that provoked that? I shyly agreed and stepped in. An old lamp on his nightstand exposed a rather simple room: paintings, sculptures, and white walls. A lone corner hoarded various art supplies. I shifted to him and shot him a small smile. "Was there something that you, uh, wanted to talk about?" Once he'd secured the door was shut, he advanced toward me and took the hairpin out of my hair before readjusting it. His cheeks held a pink saturation that dusted across his skin. "Not anything in particular. But I'm sure you're lonely, hm... so you can hang out here if you want." He stretched and launched himself onto the bed. I hesitantly laid on the other side, looking awkwardly at the ceiling.

"Sorry I laughed at what Hidan said earlier," he spoke. I glanced at him flatly. "It's no big deal. I know he was just kidding. I probably would've laughed if I wasn't the victim in the situation."

"Y'know, that means he enjoys you. He's not a fan of Konan so he never says anything to her, hm." I rolled my eyes whilst listening to him. "Part of me wishes he didn't 'enjoy' me then." He chuckled and quickly added, "everyone who suffers from that agrees, Mori-chan, hm." It grew quiet once more.

"Does being... 'art' bother you, hm?" I shifted my view to him thoughtfully, "y'know, I'm not sure. I don't know how it's different from being like any other person. I can feel when someone touches me, I can smell, I hear. Those are the main things, right?"

"Are you ever sad, hm?" He asked.

"Well... not exactly sad. I don't know an accurate word to describe it though. I guess I'm fearful a lot of the time," I replied, shame rising up in me, "but I'm happy, too." He watched me for a moment, worry smearing across his complexion. "You know you were a person like me before Danna made you into what you are, right, hm?" I nodded in reply. "I've seen how he makes people into puppets... only once, but it's still a morbid process. It should bother me that he made me this way but for some reason, it doesn't because at least I'm not dead, yeah?" He huffed, face blank.

"Why do you ask?" I wondered aloud.

"Just concerned about you, hm," he muttered. "I don't know what it feels like so I don't know what to think about you." I gave him a sharp leer. "What do you mean? I'm still a person, Deidara-san!" A blush crept onto his cheeks as he laughed. "No, no, hm! I didn't mean it like that exactly, I ju-"

"What _do_ you think about me then?" His blush increased and he ran a hand through his hair. That was the first I'd seen all of his hair down— it toppled down like a blonde waterfall that pooled around him gently. It was so... strangely inviting.

"I... think good things, so far at least, hm..." Came his flustered grumble. I jerkily reached over and lightly touched his hair. He watched me with soft, sleepy eyes. That smile was as beautiful as the fireworks his art produced: I was stunned. His sculpted jawline tightened momentarily and he swallowed hard as he rolled onto his side. "Your hair is prettier, y'know, hm." Deidara ran a hand over my hair as I did his but his demeanor hadn't been as anxious as mine. What was this feeling? The cool air of his room caused my skin to crawl and I shivered; the mouth on his hand was pressed onto my cheek. He moved a bit closer with intent eyes and face still a faded red. The space between us began thinning and as it diminished, my heart rate grew sporadically. Footsteps echoed through the outside hall and we both sat up on either side of the bed.

Well, _that_ was weird. The door opened after a nearly inaudible succession of knocks. Sasori leaned in. "We're leaving at dawn, brat." Deidara chuckled nervously, looking away from him. "S-sure thing, Danna." When Sasori disappeared from sight, I scurried out after smiling unsurely at Deidara. I followed Sasori into his room and he sat on the edge of the bed, holding his forehead in his hands whilst leaning his weight on his knees.

"Sasori-sama, are you okay?" He blinked, nearly out of what seemed a daze. "I am," then changed pace altogether. "Lay on the desk. I'm going to finish what I started working on the other day."

I hated that fucking phosphorescent white light he always used. I kept my eyes shut as the redhead diligently worked; silence enveloped him with a hand stronger than before.

"Where did you go?" I asked quietly. He hummed shortly, "not far to anywhere in particular. I've always had an affinity for nighttime." He pulled my shirt up to show my stomach.

"I see... Ah!" He sat up stiffly to glare at me. "What was that?" I laughed out of embarrassment. "It's just cold... Sorry, Sasori-sama." Sasori smiled as he turned to fetch a variation of tools.

"You perplex me sometimes, you know," he said. "I'm glad you're the one to be like me. To understand."

"Most of the time I don't feel like I understand at all, though..." He picked a spot to add onto and peered at it for a while, thinking as he did so. "I'm disappointed you feel that way but I know why you do. I've been reserved more so than usual lately for personal reasons but I'm beginning to feel more like myself. I've been experiencing... 'emotions', as you know. I'm unsure as to how I should handle that. I try to ignore them." The way he emphasized "emotions" in a displeased tone caught my ear. I frowned, still keeping my eyes closed. "Maybe you should try to embrace them instead instead of ignoring them." A silence fell over Sasori but his hands didn't still. 160 seconds. I reached over and placed my hand on his cheek, my thumb gracing over it. I didn't know what I was doing, but when Deidara held my face in his hand, I felt safe. He continued working after pausing a moment, just as before.

"You're warm," he stated, moving the lamp from my face for once. I opened my eyes and sighed, relief fluttering through my body. I was seeing colorful dots swim through my vision, but I could at least see without risking blindness. I began to move my hand when he grabbed my wrist and held it in place. "I don't know why you're so warm." I felt blood pooling in my cheeks as I shifted to look at him. I noticed he'd abandoned his tools and his posture was more lax.

"Is that weird?" I asked. His dull brown eyes settled onto me once more. "That's not a good word for it but it's something vaguely related." He stood from his chair, picked me up, set me on the bed, then stepped back from me. I was obviously confused. "Sasori-sama, what're yo—"

"You accept emotion much better than I, Akamori-chan," he muttered. "I want you to teach me." I felt so small under his gaze. Fidgeting in my spot, I asked, "how?"

"I don't know yet," he paced to and fro, a finger on his chin. "I've thought a lot about this... _concept_. I've never been one, even during my childhood, to revel in feelings: when I was young, I only knew the travesty of grief. That was due to the loss of my parents. I haven't been close to anyone because, whether puppet or not, I will always be able to discern the feeling grief. I am the epitome of such state. But you—" he suddenly turned to me, a peculiar shine in his eyes, "you and I are one. You don't know the extents of what I, or even you, have seen but we are composed of the same organic materials... and that— that is what I've come to value." I was utterly awestruck; I stood slowly and nervously approached him. Sasori took my hands and placed them on his cheeks.

"This is beyond out of character for me, I understand," he remarked, "but I've come to realize that I will never be able to seal away these things that I cannot and will not want to cope with. If I can release them all at once from time to time, perhaps... I'll be able to better handle myself. If I could just begin to understand them. I'm unsure." He bore a faint smile that caused skin to tingle.

All at once, Sasori softly placed a hand on the back of my neck and pulled me to himself, pressed his lips onto mine. My knees weakened and that tingling in my skin spread into a fiery blaze. I almost forgot to breathe until he pulled away from me, and as he did, gravity seemed to diffuse— my body was so nauseatingly light. I didn't know if I was confused or worried. Sasori caught onto that and began nursing a contemporary need to further explore what we'd found ourselves in.

"What— what was that, Sasori-sama?" I asked breathlessly, my hands falling from his face some.

"A strange compulsion of sorts," he replied. His face, as red as mine, echoed something that of a child's: a countenance full of wonder and newness. He pulled me to him again, ravaging my lips with his own before his moved to my neck, and I was left to my thoughts; a small moan toppled from my lips and he firmly pulled me closer in response. His hips met mine and once they collided, my back hit the bed. My core tightened as he pulled my shirt off in one hasty swoop and met my pert breasts with a hand. "You—" he kissed me once more, "are simply divine." I was unmoved. I didn't understand what was going on or why my shirt was thrown somewhere unknown. I didn't understand why these were the measures necessary for him to _feel something_. This nearly felt primitive.

"Sasori-sama... what are you feeling?" I asked through weighted breaths. He only paused a moment to smile darkly at me before tugging my pants off.


	6. Oddity

Hey, guys! Sorry if this chapter seems a bit off: I'm trying to get back into the swing of writing fanfiction because I've missed it dearly. Constructive criticism is always welcome!

* * *

The air in the room was cold, in contrast with Sasori's breath that crawled across my skin in short breaths. I lie bare underneath him, a bit confused as to how to react. I was on my back, legs apart: between them, he loomed over me, his brown eyes nearly melting into mine. I gingerly placed my hand on the back of one of his arms.

"I don't know what I'm doing," he said, flat-toned. He watched as I bit my lip and returned his eyes to mine.

"Were you going to say something?" Sasori asked.

"H-huh?" I squeaked, "oh, well... I was curious about something, but I don't know if it's the best question to ask so-"

"Ask." I felt my cheeks redden further, and I desperately tried to avoid his eyes, though I could feel them on me consistently. "Can we have sex?" His expression went blank for a moment before popping up into slight surprise. Cheeks red, he cleared his throat. "Why?" Thirty seconds... wasn't exactly expecting that response.

"Tobi, uh... asked if that was possible, and I was just wondering..." I trailed off. The redhead moved to sit on the edge of the bed with a slight scoff. "In theory, yes. We can both feel physically, whether pain or pleasure, but a puppet body isn't exactly the best medium to do so, so in general, not really. Especially if you take into consider that you're made a bit differently from me." I gazed at him shyly, questioningly.

"I don't have reproductive organs, inside or out, but you do-" a sudden burst of shock overcame me and when I went to voice it, Sasori clasped my mouth shut with his hand, looking a tad irritated. "I'm not a closet pervert, give it a rest. When I made myself into a puppet, I was very young. I've learned a lot since then and wanted to challenge myself in making a new piece with more biological complexity. You still have nerve endings within your skin that work as if you were human, a makeshift skeletal structure, and you still bleed when injured. You feel more than I can. The only thing you're really missing are minor organ functions, but I'm sure that won't hurt your feelings in the long run." The redhead rolled back onto his knees and sighed quietly, throwing my shirt back to me. "Get some rest. Deidara and I will be gone for a few days."

"Can I go?" I asked, stars in my eyes, "please?" He smirked and reached to ruffle my hair awkwardly. "Maybe next time."

* * *

21,600 seconds later- six hours- I opened my eyes and faced a dimly lit, empty room. If Sasori and Deidara were both gone, who was I supposed to preoccupy myself with? And why was I always getting left here like a, ignore the pun, doll on the shelf? Unfair was a cruel understatement. Kisame was someone I didn't mind speaking with, but I wasn't one hundred percent sure where to find him or if he was even around at the time, and if I were to go searching, it'd almost be a guarantee Hidan would end up harassing me on my way. I tossed in bed onto my side, paused, then hopped up and slipped shoes on. The door squeaked open loudly and with ginger steps, I made my way down the hall, trying not to looking frantic or paranoid as I glanced around. As I sharply turned a corner, I nearly walked straight into someone; with wide eyes glued to the floor, I apologized and turned around to make my back back to Sasori's room.

"Oh, wait. It's all right." I stopped and looked back: a beautiful, fair smiling face with blue hair cascading shortly around it invited me to stop freaking the fuck out for a second. "I'm Konan. You are?"

"U-uh, Akamori. Or Mori for short if you want. I'm, err... one of Sasori-sama's... friends." Konan smiled and nodded softly. "I thought as much. Are you okay? You seem a bit... distraught." A slight cold sweat broke in my palms, which was a telltale sign that a blush had appeared across my cheeks as well. "I-I, uh... I'm fine, just feeling a little out of place, I suppose. I don't really know what to do when Sasori-sama isn't around. I spend most of my time with him."

"Why don't you go find something to do? No need to stay cooped up here, especially if you're not really part of the Akatsuki," she encouraged. "I don't think Sasori will be back for some time anyhow."

"I... well, what's there to do?" I stammered out. She reached within her clouded cloak a moment and extended her hand to me. "Go get some real food, maybe," she suggested, "or take some time to travel. Either way, consider this a welcoming gift." I held my hand to hers and she placed a small amount of folded money in it.

"Oh! I couldn't!" She smiled again, eyes closed. "No worries. It feels nice to do things for people sometimes when you feel like the world is usually against you. If you won't take it for yourself, take it as a favor from me." I hesitantly pocketed it and thanked her.

"Come here for a moment," she mumbled, adjusting my hair and the pin in it. "You really should keep your bangs out of your face... look, now you're almost glowing!" Feeling a little nervous on how to reply, I lightly rubbed my arm. "Thank you, Konan-san..."

"Sure," she waved me off, "enjoy yourself now. We have multiple headquarters and aren't ridiculously far from civilization here at this one. Go, go!" I nodded and timidly made my way to the exit of the hideout. A burst of light and fresh, crisp fall air engulfed me once again. A deep breath in, post-rain fall— I loved that smell. With chills scurrying up my neck and I closed my eyes, letting my sense relish the attention. As afraid as I was to be alone, it was almost nice: there wasn't any need to hurry anywhere or to fill the air with words. That's not to say I didn't enjoy my time out with Deidara, this was just a different kind of nice. I began walking in no certain direction with endless admiration for the nature surrounding me. My shoes shifted on the grassy soil beneath me. In thought, I realized I hadn't been counting as much: maybe that was a good thing. I should have been paying attention to the things around me instead anyways. I didn't have to pretend I was stuck in a world of black anymore... _one, two, three, four, five..._ all right, it was a work in progress.

5,400 seconds, a hour and a half later, I stumbled upon a village surrounded by green, green trees. Large gated walls enveloped a bustling community. Surely I could find something interesting here! Eventually deciding on a lively barbeque restaurant, I had placed my order in a short time leaving me to wait for a bit. The aroma wafting through the building was nearly intoxicating. A couple of strangers periodically glanced in my direction, surely because I was by myself in such a place, I surmised. When my food was placed on the table, I thanked the waiter and grabbed my chopsticks. "Ah, itadakimasu!" Gently, I placed the pieces of meat on the small but sizable grill on the table.

"Oi!" I nearly jumped out of my skin, realizing a boy possibly a bit younger than me had sat across from me in the opposite, previously unoccupied booth. I could only imagine my expression... who the _hell_ was this guy?! And what nerve!

"You seemed a little lonely," he whispered albeit a bit loudly. I watched him, feeling a little pissed off, a little confused. "...I guess." His eyes widened and seeming entertained, he held his hands up. "Hey, I just wanted to say hi. Haven't seen you around before." Expression softening a bit, a sigh escaped me. "Sorry, but you, uh... can't disagree that your 'introduction' was a bit surprising to say the least." He laughed a little and tossed his head to the side, "would an apology help?" I rolled my eyes and flipped the meat on the grill.

"Seriously though, where ya from?" The boy pressed with a smile. He was scruffy and brown-haired and rather tan, distinct paint adorning his cheeks, and seemed extremely extroverted... not that that needed to be stated. I paused a moment because, well, fuck. I didn't even know that answer myself. "Here and there, nowhere in particular." He chuckled again and shrugged, "I tried. I see you're one of the 'mysterious' types. Y'knoow you can just tell me to scram, right?" It grew quiet for a few moments and though I was slightly annoyed, a tinge of sadness rang within me. "I really don't know," I spoke low. He sat back softly, puzzled. "For real? What're you doing here then? Do have somewhere to go?" His considerate demeanor caught me off guard and a deep blush welled on my face. "O-oh, uh... yeah, I'm fine. It's a... long story I'd rather not get into right now. I just happened to be walking by and uh... noticed how large this village is so I decided to stop by and sight-see I guess." He thoughtfully nodded, arms crossed. "Well, this place isn't too bad, I don't think. I've always lived here, Akamaru, too, of course." He looked to the side and I followed, finally noticing a large white dog muzzle placed lazily on the table, wiggling to sniff my food. I yelped slightly, "has it been here the whole time?!"

The boy laughed and nodded, "duh! He goes everywhere with me! Usually he sticks out like a sore thumb... guess you're kind of weird for not even noticing." I smiled sympathetically and tossed the large dog a generous piece of meat with my chopsticks.

"Oi, Kiba, you comin'?" Both of us snapped to the right to find a group standing near the door who I assumed were his friends. He sighed and pat the table, "well, if you stick around a while, come find me again. Inuzuka Kiba. Let me know if you ever need help, like, figuring out where you're from or whatever, weirdo." Incredulously, I blushed again and watched him get up to walk away. "H-hey!" He looked to me expectantly. "I-I'm Akamori!" He smirked and turned, waving as he left, and Akamaru licked my hand, following Kiba.

What a strange person... but at least he knew where he was born, so he couldn't be too terribly weird... By that criteria, supposedly no one could ever be more odd than me.


	7. Miyahara Michi

Another chapter for you, guys! Sorry, no Akatsuki members this chapter. Soon though, just bear with me. Any reviews/constructive criticism would be immensely appreciated.

* * *

Konoha was a beautiful place, needless to say, regarding the scenery, people, culture, and attitude in general. It'd been a day since I met Kiba at the barbeque restaurant and considering my lack of money, I'd slept outside of the village. Trees weren't exactly comfortable, but I took what was open. I was having trouble keeping up with what number I was on as I counted, walking on the street. So many small shops and local businesses caught my attention, and I had to consciously force myself to keep walking. I had roughly twelve dollars to my name, courtesy of Konan, of course, but when I came across a bookshop and decided I wouldn't be too upset with myself for spending money on such a thing. Browsing through, I came upon a book written on memory loss. As if reading about it would really help my situation. I skimmed through it and figured it couldn't hurt to look into. I was becoming increasingly bothered that I'd had a previous life somewhere with family and friends; I had some sort of home; maybe I was even married or had kids. The fact that something happened to me and I woke up to Sasori was starting to reassure me less and less that I should just shut up and be thankful to be breathing. I didn't want to think that perhaps the redhead or anyone else in the Akatsuki had caused this, but it wasn't like I could simply dismiss it either.

I thanked the store attendant upon paying and he placed it in a bag with a smile. The town was bustling more now than before: dusk had just glossed over the sky and lanterns were being lit one by one down the street, though it was still light enough to see without them. I found a bench and sat silently, thinking about what I could have possibly been like before meeting Sasori. Was anyone missing me? Were they wondering if I missed them, too? Tucking into my book, I remembered how much I always enjoyed reading. A large percent of the material talked about medical diagnoses and how to handle or treat them, what doctors to see, et cetera. So, basically, absolutely none of this technically applied to me from what I could tell.

"Miss, we need you to come with us." I quickly looked up to find three masked people standing not too far away. I felt a twinge of terror in my stomach. "C-can I ask why?" They looked to one another briefly, "it would really be easier if you just complied to our request." I sighed and nodded, not knowing what the hell was going on but hoping for the best.

The three beings in my company led me into a large red building with the kanji for fire proudly placed on a sign on it, and quickly showed me up some stairs into a large double-door room. A busty blonde woman sat across the room from us at a desk, a serious look adorning her complexion. "Can I ask why are you here?" The lady asked, harsh-toned. I recoiled slightly, taking a sharp breath in. "...I'm confused. I'm just a tourist." The lady intertwined her fingers, leaning onto them. "I'm inclined to think you're lying, unfortunately."

"I'm not trying to be... rude or anything, but I really don't know what you're talking about, ma'am," I muttered, anxious. The annoyed woman sighed, pulling a book from her desk. "I'm sure you know what this is?" I peered over to it and shook my head. She slammed her hand down, "how old are you? Come here and take a look then!" Careful steps over to her revealed a rather thick black leather-bound book, and as she flipped through a number of pages, sheer terror and adrenaline coursed through my veins upon noting Deidara and Sasori's pictures both listed within it. Even worse than seeing the art duo among a group of scary-looking people, the blonde landed on a particular page and showed it to me: a picture of a young girl with bushy hair, dim blue-gray eyes, and a condescending, cheeky smirk; she was the spitting image of me. The name Miyahara Michi and a caption of "Kumogakure Rogue Ninja" scrawled in black ink framed the picture. I studied it a moment and looked up shyly, "that's... not me..."

"How could I ever be so trusting of that?" She queried. I was growing irritated as well but didn't want to be rude. This lady obviously held some sort of authority. Hokage, perhaps?

"Well, for one... my name is Akamori, and two, this girl pictured has chipped teeth and I don't..." I trailed off, " to be truthful, I lost my memory a while back." I showed her my teeth and pulled my newly bought book from its bag to show her, just for good measure. A sudden knock rang out and one of the doors quickly fell open. "Hey, Tsunade-sama, I don't mean to-"Well, great timing, Kiba. "A-Akamori, what're you here for?!" I chuckled unsurely, "just a... misunderstanding, I think."

"Kiba, get out!" Tsunade griped angrily. Her expression softened as she looked to me. "Regardless, our intel team needs to take a look at you. If you're telling the truth, I suppose there's been a slight mistake. You've been surprisingly cooperative... something a rogue-nin would never agree to, in my experience." I nodded, thanked her, then turned to follow my three escorts out the door. As soon as I crossed the threshold, Kiba popped up in a slight panic. "Did something happen?" I waved my hand hastily, "I, uh... I'll tell you later, okay?" Akamaru barked, grabbing the boy's attention, and he muttered something back.

"Well, hey, meet me at my place later, m'kay? West side of town near the veterinary office, can't miss it," he offered. I shook my head and waved, noticing the three before me had reduced to one. Even through the mask, I could tell they seemed to be waiting on me impatiently. The walk to our destination was short but felt immensely long. Confused and nervous, I couldn't shake what was happening: being taken in for questioning, my likeness to a rogue ninja, Sasori and Deidara in the same book as said rogue. Suddenly, I realized how much absolute shit I was in. If my friends were in a book like that and this intel team was going to be taking a look into my thoughts, I could only imagine what these people were going to think. Sasori and Deidara's ties to the Akatsuki would be blindingly obvious. Nearly everyone in the Akatsuki would be revealed in this little operation, and in turn, I was going to be in deep, _deep _trouble. I didn't even know if Sasori was okay with me going out into the world, and if not, his rage would imminently be falling upon me. Irresponsibility and guilt and everything in between hung onto my shoulders like the weight of the world. No amount of "fun" or "enjoyment" was worth this. We walked into a room with a chair in the middle of it and I was directed to sit in it. I took a fearful breath and sat back. A couple of preparations took place and before I knew it, the jutsu to be cast was already under way. I didn't know how to evade this or if it was even possible. Should I focus on something? Should I clear my mind totally? A warm sensation filled my head-space and I closed my eyes and pretended none of this had ever happened.

A good amount of time had passed until I finally heard the words "we're done, please stay here a moment." The people in the room gathered and exited to a different room. When one of them, a bald man, eventually returned, he invited me with him back to Tsunade's office. Just as we walked in, she stood with purpose and walked over to me, pulling my shirt up to reveal my mostly hollow stomach. I jumped with a squeak and tried to force her arm down to no avail.

"Who did this to you?!" She demanded. I quivered, tears welling in my eyes— a mixture of fright, sorrow, and confusion. Did that mean they didn't see anything about Sasori?

"I... don't know," I lied. She scoffed sternly. "'Don't know'? Really?"

"Tsunade-sama... she was barely conscious. It's blurry even to us on the intel team," the man behind me spoke. "I know you were very shortly briefed, but in case it wasn't mentioned, it's probable a memory-repressing technique was used to conceal as much as possible."

"And you didn't see anything else? Nothing at all?" Tsunade barked, almost accusationally.

"Unfortunately in her case, she did seem to lose her memory before this incident," he explained, "but this first defining scenario has overrode nearly everything else in her mind that she has experienced since then. We've seen spotty breaks of clear memories but nothing that can be put together and observed with substance." The angered woman walked over to one of the many large windows and paused for a few minutes. When she turned to speak, she had a sympathetic air to her. "I'd really like if we could study your memory loss for a period of time, for our resources but also to see if we could help you, too. I can only imagine how you feel." I blushed and lowered my head. "Um... when? And for how... long? I guess?"

"It's not set in stone. We've never seen this before and there's a chance it might be inconclusive, but my intel and medical teams are exceptional and I have the utmost faith." She returned to her desk with her arms crossed. "I'm not sure how long it'd take, it just depends on the results we come up with and at what rate. We would need to work with you on a daily basis though."

"Could I have time to... think about when starting this would be best?" I asked quietly. She nodded. "I need time to prepare anyways. Come see me here again within the next couple of days, okay?" And just like that, I was free but feeling more conflicted than ever. Was stopping by Kiba's really worth it? I knew he was only being nosy. _Miyahara Michi. Michi... Michi..._ That name felt so familiar on my tongue, it made me nauseous. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I'd accepted it as a freak coincidence. I needed to somehow get to Kumogakure while being able to dodge Tsunade and Sasori both, all in a timely manner. I was fortunate to get out of that interrogation fairly unscathed, but the thought of traveling so far away was already pushing whatever small amount of luck I had left before I'd even embarked.

* * *

It was fairly late and I was growing more and more against the idea of meeting up with Kiba. There was a slight chance Sasori and Deidara were already back home, and the thought of being late was more than unsettling. Regardless, I hurried to the general direction of Kiba's house, craning my neck left and right in attempt to spot it. "Can't miss it", my ass. Large living compounds lined the entire surrounding area, their windows illuminating the night. One building in particular though was gated to keep the dogs in the yard from straying too far. Deciding it was worth a shot, I cautiously entered the gate and made my way to the door, knocking on it with a handful of vigor. Luckily, Kiba answered the door and he looked fairly surprised. "Hey, I wasn't for sure you'd even show up!" He exclaimed.

"Kiba, who was it?" A voice called from an adjacent room. He rolled his eyes and gestured me to follow him. "My friend Mori! We won't be long, Ma!" Kiba's room was pretty tidy, in contrast to what I'd assumed. Akamaru welcomed me with a tail wag and a bark as Kiba patted me a spot on his bed. "Sorry, 'dunno if sitting in here makes you uncomfortable, but if we stay in the living room, my mom won't be able to stop yapping and asking you stuff. So? C'mon, what was all that Hokage business about?" I explained everything to him in record timing, leaving out all details tied to the Akatsuki, and like the most obedient companion, he listened, fully attentive. When my mostly true tale was over, he slouched back and groaned. "Man, that's crazy... Well, you're get the treatment, right?"

I chewed on the inside of my lip before looking up. "I don't really know... I'd much rather try finding this Michi girl. Or finding out something about her, anyways. I doubt it's easy to find a rogue-nin."

"Are you sure that's the best idea?" He countered. Seemed he wasn't a fan of it.

"Tsunade said it could end up being inconclusive, and I don't exactly have a lot of time to get things going," I mumbled, causing Akamaru to whine lowly.

"Why?" Kiba watched me, a twinkle of suspicion gleaming in his eyes. I huffed, "my living situation is complicated and I don't want to go into it right now."

"I could see if Ma would let you stay in the living room or something? Might not be a five-star hotel, but it's open to ya. Or we could sniff out someplace cheap for you to crash at anyways," Kiba replied after some thought. I laughed and shook my head, "no, it's really okay. The offer is kind and appreciated." I glanced out the singular window in the wall and noticed the stars out. I patted my legs and stood, "it's getting pretty dark... I'll catch you around?" He shrugged defeatedly, "ah, I guess. You know where to find me." I tried to cover how quickly I gunned for the door while seeing myself out. Whaaat a mess. I started toward the village gates, having decided it'd likely be best to head back home. I had no clue what I was going to say to Sasori or if I was even brave enough to attempt confronting him in the first place. Was he expecting me to not be curious about my life beforehand? Was he expecting me to stay in one place and not ask questions? If that was the case, I would have rathered he extinguished my consciousness from the start. The wind blew my hair back from my face and while I trudged down the dirt path, I caught myself wishing I could totally disappear from this cruel joke I was stuck in, but one step after another. _One, two, three, four, five, six..._


	8. Pinky Promise

Thanks to those that left reviews! Your kinds words genuinely inspire and motivate me to type this story as best as I can. Constructive criticism is more than welcome: I know my writing style isn't perfect therefore I would happily accept any advice extended to me. Thanks for reading, guys!

* * *

Somehow, I made it back to the base in pretty good timing. Just thinking of the look on Sasori's face with me not being there put some pep in my step. It was well after midnight if I had to put a time to the scenario. Walking through the common room, to my surprise, I found it empty. I continued to my and Sasori's room, gripping the book I'd bought in my hands tightly, then finally realizing if Sasori noticed it, it would bring up a conversation I seriously didn't want to have. I stopped at Deidara's room and opened the door quietly. Immediately regretted it. Imagine this: I was too stupidly nonchalant to think about knocking. A half-naked Deidara currently undressing was facing the wall opposite of me, boxers, in the middle of pulling his shirt off. He was petrified. I was petrified. One of the most saturated red shades colored his cheeks. We locked eye contact, and I promptly slammed the door, turning on my heel to relocate myself to literally _anywhere else possible._ I felt like I didn't fully take in what just happened but that was so, so okay. Did I just see Deidara undressing? No. No, that certainly didn't happen. Just a hallucination. Yep... that's all. I speed-walked to the end of the hall and made a left. I hadn't ventured to this side of the base really, but I was pretty sure it was just more rooms. Were they perhaps closets where I could conveniently hide this stupid book? Who knows. All the doors looked the exact fucking same. Anxiety was a bitch. When I reached the end of the hall, I paused and started back from which I'd come. A dark figure stood not too far off from me, and I nearly jumped out of my skin. The figure was of shorter stature, around the same height as me. Had they been following me? I threw my hands behind my back to hide the book.

"What're you doing?" The voice wasn't Sasori's; it was more deep with a velvet-like finish_._ I sighed deeply, relief flooding my senses. I relaxed a bit, trying to focus on said person under the extremely dim lighting. "I... I, uh... nothing..." Silence, forty-five seconds. Obviously, they were waiting on me to give a decent explanation. They reached over to a door and opened it, light illuminating where we stood. Oh... Itachi. Guess that was his room. His stark black eyes scanned my flushed face.

"Sorry, I just... need to figure out a safe place to put my book," I mumbled. He extended an arm toward me and with a severely shy manner, I handed it to him carefully. "Y'know, actually, it's not even that important, you could just throw it away for me and I wouldn't mind." His brows furrowed in confusion as I laughed. I sounded more nervous than I think I've heard from myself.

"Why do you have it if you don't want it?" Well... great question but why was he so nosy? That's a better one. He examined it shortly, blank-faced. Finally, his eyes returned to mine, "I'll keep it safe for you." I nodded, thanked him, and ran down the hall, not daring to look back even for a millisecond. Back in front of Sasori's room, I tried to think of what to tell him if he'd asked where I'd been. Telling the truth seemed like a bad idea... but what if I made something up and then got my story wrong? I figured I was pretty fucked, no matter which option I chose. I turned the doorknob and pushed the door open. _Squeeak._ Sasori was bent over his work desk reading something diligently, but he took a moment to turn to me. "Akamori-chan." He smiled nonchalantly and turned back to his documents. I was starstruck. I didn't think I'd ever seen him smile like that. It almost felt... human? That's a terrible way to describe it, but he actually looked happy. I had to force my body to shut the door and take a seat on the bed. "Sasori-sama... how did the mission go?" I asked quietly.

"Well enough if I'm able to sit here and tell you the tale, no?" He flipped a page over and tapped his foot a few times. I didn't know what to say. I could tell he was trying to joke with me, but I felt so awkward. It was warranted, right? There was a pretty good possibility he "killed" me just to make me into some morbid art piece. He could have taken me from whatever family I'd had. He was likely the one that suppressed my memory. But he actually greeted me with a smile for once, and the fact that he wasn't mad that I went out while he was gone was a relief. I lie down on my side toward the wall. What a long day.

* * *

Sasori was absent once I got up, so I decided to take advantage of being able to use the mirror without him making a remark. I threw my hair up into a bun and caught myself wishing I had some makeup: nothing too fancy, maybe just a tinted lip gloss. Anything that'd make me feel like a girl. Scratch that, whatever would remind me that I was still actually alive would've been nice. Speaking of which, food didn't sound bad. I walked to the kitchen and peered into the relatively empty fridge. Yogurt was good enough. I grabbed a plastic spoon and turned to the table. Deidara sat there motionless, small bits of scrambled egg on his cheek, staring at me. I watched him, feeling like a deer in headlights. I shuffled to the door and bowed quickly. "I'm sorry, Deidara-san!" I rushed to the nearest bathroom, locked the door and sat down. No amount of whipped chocolate yogurt or other dairy products would be able to save me from this mess and I knew it but pretended otherwise. The list of people I was making an ass out of myself in front of was growing steadily. I was terrible at handling my own emotions, much less anyone else's. I wasn't sure if Deidara was mad at me or just ridiculously embarrassed or something else. The only emotion he was really good at showing was anger, but Tobi was usually the recipient for that. _Knock, knock._ I straightened up instantly, "s-someone's in here, sorry!" I stammered. Had I always been so... insecure about literally anything? I wanted to think I was a totally different person before the Akatsuki. I guess anyone in my situation would want to assume so though. Everyone wants to be a good person in their own way. If there was a chance I wasn't constantly drowning in self-pity, I'd consider that a win.

That night, I found myself perched on the couch next to Kisame. We were drinking some sort of tangy tea he'd whipped up and talking about various things and laughing at Hidan who was playing a first-person zombie game getting his ass kicked. On occasion, he'd slip into my and Kisame's conversation to add a snarky remark, and it was actually pretty nice to talk to him indirectly once I'd learned to filter the sporadic sexual innuendos. Itachi sat silently in a cushy chair across from me and his partner, only ever making a sound to give a low chuckle at what was being said.

"Are you any good at video games?" Hidan asked me loudly. I bit my lip already feeling his bitchy response coming, "well... I don't remember. Maybe?" The slick-haired man audibly groaned as he slammed his controller down, having died once more. "I don't know what's more annoying: this game or you not knowing, like, anything! So boring!" I crossed my arms and glared at him, "this wasn't exactly by _choice_, you asshole. I'd love to remember everything about myself at some point if at all fucking possible." He twisted to me quickly, brows knitted close together. He started to retort but rolled his eyes and tended to his game once more. "Jashin, I was just kidding. Loosen up, man." Kisame laughed a little and nudged my arm. "You probably should loosen up some if you plan on keeping your sanity intact." I sighed and nodded. "Why can't I be like Itachi?" The raven-haired man's eyes locked onto mine and Kisame and Hidan both jeered immediately, for separate reasons, of course.

"Seriously, we don't need another ghost of a person just floating around creeping everyone out!" Hidan yelled, scoffing. Kisame threw the cup he was holding at the Jashinist, "hey, shut up!" I was a little surprised at that outburst, but it wasn't like Hidan didn't deserve it. Kisame grumbled a little, then huffed. "Itachi-san is different," he started, "if there were two of you, we'd never be able to tell ya apart!" I sneered at him jokingly. "Whatever, whatever. You kno-"

Before I could finish my sentence, Deidara dutifully marched into the room, grabbed my arm and pulled me with him.

"Again? Great, Deidara! Have some respect!" I heard Kisame yell as we grew further away. Deidara hadn't stopped to look at me or explain and certainly hadn't released my arm. I was contemplating confronting him about whatever he was trying to pull but couldn't muster up the courage. Through the last threshold held a lengthy moment of pitch blackness and further on, the night sky embraced us both. After we had walked a bit farther, he let me go silently. I held my arm to my chest worriedly.

"So... you just gonna avoid me from now on or what?" He demanded quielty, still not turning to me. I recoiled slightly, unsure, "w-well, no, that's not it... but I don't want to, like, bother you if you're mad at me, I guess."

"Who said I was mad, hm?!" I awkwardly watched him. What was I supposed to say to that when he obviously sounded ticked? The only thing crossing my mind that really registered with me was that his hair looked like golden silk the way it shifted in the breeze.

"... Sorry, hm," he said. I shyly walked up to his side and craned my neck to look at him. "Me too... I didn't think you and Sasori-sama were back yet so I didn't think to knock last night." He turned from me further, and that's when I realized the problem; I couldn't help but laugh.

"What's so funny?!"

"You're, uh... you're blushing," I whispered. He covered his face quickly and took a few steps away. "I am not! Anyways, what did you need last night anyways, hm?" I hadn't really thought about whether telling Deidara about my adventure was a good idea or not. He finally turned to look at me and was waiting patiently for an explanation.

"It's kind of a... long story, y'know. I'll tell you later," I replied quickly, "but your bed's pretty comfy, too." He immediately looked away, once again, and started walking back toward the base.

"Do you get flustered this easily all the time?! I feel like I'm seeing a version of myself from a different body!" I exclaimed. He held up a middle finger, not hesitating. I watched the stars for a little bit before following after him. "Are you embarrassed of what you look like?" I asked.

"Not in the least. I don't get embarrassed, hm." I caught up to him and grabbed his arm, "are you sure?" Blue eyes intense, he didn't waver. "I made myself into art so I have nothing to be embarrassed about, hm. You just... looked nice in an inopportune moment." Waves of blood abandoned my limbs to settle in my cheeks and I felt my knees weaken. I convinced myself that I wasn't sure if I heard him correctly so I opted to stay silent and brood over how dumb I was probably looking right about then.

"Anyways, what did you need again? You said it's a long story, but I have plenty of time," Deidara taunted, "don't think you can distract me so easily, hm." He watched me carefully, patiently waiting. As patiently as he could anyways. I realized I was still holding onto him and jumped back slightly to put some space in between.

"You okay, hm?" My mind was spinning at that point. I should've figured he wouldn't give up on making me explain everything, but I didn't know what to say or how to even start to, really. "Well, you have to promise to not... tell Sasori-sama, okay?" My voice sounded more small and unsure than I was expecting. His eyebrows lifted in surprise. "Sure, I guess..."

"No, promise!" I said firmly, "even better—" I held my pinky out to him. Deidara looked slightly suspicious but obliged, intertwining his own pinky with mine shortly. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. "Okay, so... I went to Konoha to find something to do while you two were gone and ended up getting taken to see who I'm pretty sure was the Hokage and they thought I was this girl named Michi. She looks exactly like me and is a rogue ninja so their intelligence team poked around in my memories but couldn't see much obviously and now they want to run tests on me in the next few days, and I don't know what to do." When I opened my eyes, I found him bearing a sympathetic expression.

"Well... seems strange you practically have a twin out there somewhere, hm..." He trailed off. Aha! Light bulb moment. I covered my mouth, feeling stupid that I hadn't seriously sat down to consider it before. "What if she and I really are twins? Or at least sisters? What if she's looking for me?"

"Whoa, hey, I was mostly joking, hm!" The blonde replied hastily.

"I was wanting to try to find out more about her anyways... I guess it'd be best to start out with the simple stuff. All I know is that she's from Kumo." He held his chin thoughtfully for a moment. "Well, start there then, right, hm?" I smiled and nodded happily. "Finding a way to get there is probably my biggest problem though." Knowing that Deidara could understand at least some took a weight off my shoulders. Resuming our walk back, I noticed Deidara was looking up at the sky. "Isn't it weird to know how far the sky stretches, hm? Everyone you know or pass by in the street— we're all connected even if you don't want to be, hm... if she's looking for you, she's technically not even that far off." Hearing him string those words together was comforting. I felt warm. He was exactly right, and it was nice to toss the thought around in my head.

"Don't tell Danna though... terrible idea, hm."

"Like I didn't know that!" I yelled, simultaneously slapping his arm. "The pinky promise wasn't for no reason!" If I'd had a choice, I'd much rather have beeen crossing Kumo's border instead of heading back home, but this was a step. I was next to a not-so-bad guy with a tiny blushing problem who seemed to care about my feelings. Of course, rooming with the person who pulled me into this situation almost cancelled that out, but I was happy enough to ignore it for the time being.

_"I'll find you eventually, Michi."_


	9. Hostage

A constant stream of thoughts was coursing through each vein in my body, infecting every cell in its way as it traveled. I felt detached from my body but stuck within my own head, being forced to stare at a huge mosaic of images that were plastered to every inch of my mind. It was hard to piece them together but there was blood. A whole fucking lot of blood. In each visual that I focused on, I could feel the physical sensations as if I were directly experiencing them: blood cascading over various parts of my body, building up in my throat and nearly drowning me, my insides being pulled from a messy tear in my stomach. My eyes were burning under the phosphorescent light directly above me. No blinking. Humming... Johann Sebastian Bach. Hands pulled at my skin almost every time the sound periodically stopped. My vision steadily grew darker until I couldn't see or feel anything else. Pitch black. The humming continued. I counted for what seemed like an eternity. Nothing happened, nothing happened.

"Akamori-chan?" I jolted awake amidst a cold sweat and breathlessness. "Are you all right?" I looked over to see Sasori knelt by the bed worriedly observing me. Bile burned my throat. I threw myself onto my feet and rushed to the bathroom to hurl myself at the toilet. The redheads light footsteps followed suit and I felt his fingertips grasp at my neck, pulling my hair back. Tears pricked at my eyes as I retched, only to expel pitiful amounts of stomach acid.

"Bad dream?" He asked a bit flatly. I coughed a few times and wiped my mouth with a towel. "I guess... not feeling too great, obviously..." He let my hair fall and helped me to my feet, even going so far as to flush the toilet for me. Such a gentleman. "You were crying in your sleep." I dabbed my cheeks... damp and chilly. The dream replayed over and over, and I nearly tore into my lip as I bit it to help me keep my composure. "Kinda stupid, huh?" I chuckled and went to get back into bed, pulling all the pillows and blankets to me. The mattress groaned lowly as Sasori took a seat next to me. I was facing away from him which was probably a good thing. He was trying to be nice to me, but I couldn't focus on that for even one second. He reached a hand to my back and rubbed it lazily.

"Not stupid," he said, "you can't control your dreams." Tears welled up in my eyes again and I proceeded to bury my face in the pillows I'd grabbed to cover up my sniffling.

"I don't want you to be upset. Is there anything I can do?"

"I think I'm gonna... go take a walk or something," I muttered as I got up. Sasori stood as well and touched my shoulder. When I turned to him, he gingerly grabbed my chin and lowered it to place a small kiss on my forehead. "Feel better. Let me know if you need something." Face reddening further by the moment, I shyly nodded and saw myself into the hall. Being one of Sasori's "art pieces" was growing stranger and stranger by the minute. It was so one-sided; I couldn't ever tell what he was feeling or thinking. He was a blank slate, and in contrast, I was the exact opposite, a movie screen displaying every single emotion that even slightly rose up to surface. I didn't have far to go before I was knocking on Deidara's door. From behind it, I heard him tussle his sheets around and in turn rise to pull it open. He looked a little surprised, but I could barely tell considering he hadn't bothered to turn the light on.

"Can I sit in here? I can hang out on the floor," I whispered, "comfort isn't exactly a priority for someone like me anyways." He sighed and invited me in, shutting the door afterward. I leaned against the wall and slid down onto my butt. The disgruntled man launched himself back into bed sleepily. "You really gotta stop waking me up in the middle of the night, hm." His voice was low and scratchy: sounded like he'd been sleeping pretty well. I felt bad for intruding, but I didn't know what to do. I was confident the nightmare I'd had tied to Sasori, as if the humming and phosphorescent light weren't enough of a dead give away— that being said, I wasn't keen on staying with him at the moment. Deidara was the only one I really felt comfortable with at this point. I caught myself imagining what living in a village surrounded by welcoming people felt like... I'd assume pretty nice. Definitely nothing like this. That thought led me to wonder if I went back to Konoha to see Tsunade, perhaps I'd be able to have that life. I'd be a special case, but that was what I was always going to be from now on. I was sure of two things, if I'd ran away: one, Sasori wouldn't like my leaving, and two, I would miss Deidara and Kisame.

"Ah, c'mere, hm. I can't sleep knowing there's a sad little kid on my floor." I tiptoed over and lie down next to him.

"I'm probably older than you, y'know." He scoffed and rolled away from me, "as if, hm."

"How old are you then?" I demanded jokingly. He huffed, "nineteen. So what?"

"So what? So you're the kid here by two years, you baby," I retorted, "not that it really applies anymore." Deidara tossed onto his other side once more. "Is everything okay?"

"I remembered something," I said. My stomach was in knots. Just recalling it made me feel sick. "Apparently I was conscious when I was having my insides rearranged. I'd rather not go into it further than that for now." The electric fan on his nightstand seemed louder than before, now that I'd realized it was there. Better than complete silence, it was almost comforting. I could barely hear Deidara's breaths escape him but could feel them ghost over the back of my shoulder. He reached an arm to my waist and pulled me toward him, his hand resting on my side after. "I'm sorry, hm."

"I can't stop thinking about it, and it's making me sick." My voice broke toward the end of the sentence, and my throat was tight. "I'm terrified." Deidara softly ran his hand through my hair a few times. "That help some, hm?"

"... A little."

"Close your eyes and think about something else, hm," he mumbled, half asleep. His arm draped over my waist once more, and after a few minutes, I heard a light snore. Huh, that was quick. I was hoping he would stay awake with me, but I was just being selfish. He needed rest, and though I had found I was still able to sleep, it wasn't necessary for me. It was nice lying here regardless. I nuzzled into the pillow I lie on and took a deep breath in— a fresh, chill evergreen. As long as I was here with Deidara, maybe I'd be okay. I focused on how his skin grazed my own as his figure rose and fell with each breath.

* * *

Around nine in the morning, Deidara awoke with a stretch under the sunlight that poured in. Small bits of dust could be seen floating in the beams, but I never took him to be much of the cleaning type anyways. I rolled from my side to my back and looked over at him. "Sleep okay?" He yawned loudly and shook his head in confirmation. "I almost forgot I let you in last night, hm."

"Oh! I'm sorry... I won't do it again," I muttered, "I know I keep barging in like I own the place." A chuckle escaped him as he sat up, feet hanging from the side of the bed. "It's fine. I don't usually sleep too great, so I guess you're like a lucky charm." He shrugged and threw a shirt on. "That, or maybe it was just a fluke, hm."

"I wouldn't know," I replied with a smile. "Was that... uh, weird? You know, me being in your bed?" Deidara went about his typical morning routine, putting his hair up, grabbing his shoes, et cetera. "Mm... even if I thought it was, I couldn't complain. I gave you an invitation, hm," he said while brushing his teeth. "Quit worrying about everything so much. The only thing I'll accept your anxiety over is the fact that you slept in the same bed as a strange man that you don't know very well, hm."

"H-hey!" My face grew unapologetically red. "That's not fair!" He scoffed and once he was finished in the bathroom, he leaned onto the threshold and crossed his arms. "I know, I know, I'm just _so_ irresistible, hm." I stood with purpose and marched to the hallway door. "You're an asshole." Queue the nervous laugh and approach, hand placed onto my shoulder. "I'm kidding, chill out, Mori-chan." I turned to him and paused, thinking something over.

"What happens if I walk out and Sasori is standing there?" I wondered quietly. Deidara, lips pursed, tapped his foot a couple of times. "No clue, hm."

"Great help you are..." I growled and opened the door. Just act like nothing happened.

"Some 'walk', huh?" _Fuck._ Sasori's hand was raised as if he were about to knock. I smiled sheepishly, "Sasori-sama! Sorry, I ended up talking to Deidara last night and decided to just hang out here. It smells pretty good... like a pine needle forest..." The redhead didn't seem to be registering anything I was saying. His eyes were mostly locked onto the blonde that stood behind me.

"What the fuck is that look for, hm? You're creeping me out, Danna!" Deidara snapped. Sasori's lithe hand gripped my wrist and he walked me back to his room. His expression was unchanging. The door squeaked open and he turned to me. "I want to work on you more." A sense of dread quickly began bubbling within me. He led me over to his work desk. With a small voice, I asked, "do you have to?" I lie on the table top, afraid of looking into his eyes. He lightly pulled my chin into my direction and smiled in the same demeanor. "You don't really have a choice in this, Akamori-chan." His voice was cold ringing in my ears. Sasori took a seat and pulled out various tools, then adjusted my shirt to expose my stomach. I counted 1,080 seconds, not even that long. Twenty minutes. I was on the brink of tears for the last fourth of the sequence. The light shining onto my face made it hard to concentrate, and my eyelids almost felt sore. I was doing my damnedest to not think about the nightmare. Anything but the nightmare. Evergreen. Deidara's skin. His breath on my back. Dust in sunlight. Sasori placed various things within the open cavity of my abdomen. His fingers were graceful, nimble.

"Why have you been so distant?" He asked quietly. I didn't respond for a bit. "I... wish I knew what my life was like before." The man lingering mover me scoffed and clicked his tongue.

"What if I told you I rescued you from a broken home? Would that make it better?"

"Who is Miyahara?"

"I don't know all the minute details." He had such a silver tongue. "You should know I want the best for you. It's not like I would take just anyone under my wing." I opted to not say anything back. I was sure somewhere inside him, Sasori's intentions weren't to cause me all this distress, but I was having to work fairly hard to make myself believe that. It wasn't much longer before he shut the light above me off and sat back in his chair. "I think most everything in finished. I might do a little tweaking here and there, but that's to be expected." I let myself slip off the table and went to the bathroom to observe his work. The holes that spotted my torso were filled, but that was as much as I could really see. I nodded to him mirthlessly and walked past him to exit the room.

I found Deidara in the common room playing cards with Tobi, and once in my line of sight, I marched over and knelt by him. He seemed slightly shocked. Just he went to speak, Tobi threw his cards into the air and launched his full body weight at me to encase me in a hug. I was growing increasingly irritated the longer he held on but tried to keep it inside. I patted his leg a few times, hoping he'd get the message to remove himself from me to no avail. Deidara huffed, leaned over and smacked him in the side of the head. "_Jesus_, Tobi, pick your cards up, hm!"

"Oh! Sorry, Senpai! Silly Tobi..." The masked man grumbled as he gathered the loose cards together. I leaned to Deidara's ear and whispered, "I am being held hostage." He looked at me with slight confusion. "Don't you think that's a little... dramatic, hm?" I slammed my hands onto my thighs. "_Dramatic?_ Are you serious?!" He watched me, unscrutable. "Your life isn't technically at stake here, you know. Just chill out, Mori-chan... I get you're upset, but try not to totally lose it, okay, hm?" I was dealt a fair amount of hurt with those words. Maybe I was being slightly... "dramatic" but even so, seriously? I didn't sign up to be thrown into a world surrounded by a bunch of criminals or be turned into some sort of sorry high school art project.

"Hey, Deidara," a voice called. He and I looked over to the doorway. Kisame smiled at me briefly then shifted his eyes back to the artist. "Leader's got a mission for you." Deidara groaned audibly and tossed his cards on the table. Tobi immediately began picking them up to place them in his pile and organizing them. I watched Deidara somberly as he started to the hallway. "Just... hang out with Tobi, Mori-chan, hm." I looked over to said Akatsuki member. He greeted me with a wave and though I tried to resist it, I couldn't help but grimace. We sat there a moment, the only sound filling the room being Tobi's incessant third-person talking. After a minute or two, I smiled and ruffled his hair. "I'll catch you in a little bit, Tobi." He saluted me and resumed what he was doing. I tiptoed into the hall, scampered to Leader's "office" room, and delicately placed my ear onto the crack between the double doors.

"... near Kumogakure. It really shouldn't take the two of you both to accomplish, but I know that Sasori usually needs to collect field items from that area periodically. This will mainly be on you, Deidara."

"Right, hm."

"Dismissed." I almost choked on my own spit as I tore down the hallway back to sit by Tobi. I patted my hair down hurriedly.

"Is Mori-chan okay?" He asked.

"Yep, pretend I didn't even leave," I replied through a gritted smile. As I finished my demand, Sasori walked in and waved me over. As we walked toward his room, he glanced at me. "What do you say joining me on a mission?" I wasn't ecstatic about being stuck with him but we would be near Kumo and that simple fact made it worthwhile. Deidara would be coming along, too, so that also made things better. I could only hope this went well. As I watched Sasori gather his things and get situated into his puppet Hiruko, I couldn't shake the feeling of foreboding clawing relentlessly at my ankles. I tried to ignore it but ignoring things could never fix what was actually wrong. Everyone knew that. I trailed after Sasori and Deidara out of the base into the afternoon sun, and took a deep breath, hoping it would cleanse me of any bad feelings. Deidara caught my attention with a small _psst!_ just to smile at me. I returned the gesture then looked away quickly, blushing. That in itself dissipated any bad feelings I was harboring and I cursed the blonde (but not too harshly). It weird how certain people could make everything seem okay with so much ease. Even though I was stuck in what was likely one of the biggest shit shows ever, I was lucky in some regards. Maybe it could've been worse.


	10. Chakra Strings

Hey, guys! If you've read this far into the story, I want to personally thank you. I'm kind of getting the impression that this story is boring and I'm sorry! It's hard to appease reader's preferences without any feedback at all. I write for fun, but I want to do my best in posting decent quality stuff, too, sooo catch twenty-two, lol. Either way, I hope if you read this, you enjoy it at least a little. Thanks for reading!

* * *

To say I was feeling awkward would've been a huge understatement. Sitting slightly behind Sasori and Deidara who were next to each other, I was forced to listen to their bickering. Better than that, I was occasionally even pulled _into_ it to provide my opinion, which I attempted politely declining each time. Them arguing was one thing, but I didn't want to be part of it.

"What do you think, Mori-chan, hm?" I leered at the blonde that was watching me with expectant eyes. I sighed, noting how tense my shoulders were. "I don't know," I muttered begrudgingly, turning my view to the quickly passing brush as we soared over it. Deidara had provided our transportation of course; when he first whipped the bird up and helped me on, I was in absolute awe and filled with excitement.

"What's wrong? Your opinion is important, you know!" Deidara exclaimed. Sasori was apparently annoyed. Hiruko's tail moved to point at his neck.

"Can't you shut up for once, you brat?"

"Can _both_ of you shut up?" I asked angrily. "I'm literally a foot away from free falling to my death and at this point, I'd gladly—" The tail once pointed at the blonde shot in my direction, stopping only two or three inches from the tip of my nose. Eyes wide, I gulped and scooted back some. Hiruko's unchanging face peered directly into mine, twisted in fear. Tears pricked at my eyes silently.

"Don't ever let me hear you say something like that again."

"Oh, that's rich, Sasori-danna," Deidara spoke, unenthusiastic, "she threatens suicide, so you threaten to kill her first instead, hm! Comedy gold!" The tail retracted into the puppet and Sasori turned away from me. Deidara scooted between he and I looking shamefaced. "Not having a good time?" I hurriedly swept my face of any emotion with my wrists and bit my lip, hard. "I want to go home." Deidara sympathized with me, his eyes soft. "I know, hm. We'll be back before you know it, then you'll be begging to go out, hm." I smiled lightly, knowing he was probably right.

"Getting to be pretty close, you two," Sasori remarked, unmoving. "It's actually kind of funny." Deidara's brows knitted together, displaying obvious annoyance. He lazily leaned back to the other man, his hands holding onto his crossed legs. "What's that supposed to mean, Danna?"

"It means you're both stupid," he grumbled. "There's no point in making relations with someone that will die a lot sooner than you, Akamori-chan."

"I've already died once, mind you, so I guess he's due soon." Deidara and I snickered to each other. Wasn't wrong, technically.

The moonlight wavered as clouds crept across the sky, and soon enough, Deidara was getting prepared for his part of the mission. Reaching within his cloak, he fiddled with his clay pouches and whatnot. Sasori turned to me, "we'll get off here." The younger man nodded and told us he wouldn't be too long. As the clay bird descended, Sasori and I hopped off to the grassy forest ground, and I turned to watch Deidara climb further away into the night sky.

"We have quite a bit to cover so let's get moving," the puppet said flatly. I followed after him closely.

"So, what exactly is he supposed to do?" I asked quietly. Sasori was bent down observing the various herbs growing nearby a large crooked tree. He handed me an herb. "Gather as many of these as you can..." He trailed off absentmindedly. "Deidara is infiltrating a small village that is responsible for attempting to dismantle various areas of the Akatsuki's business ends. Normally Kakuzu would handle something like this, but I need to harvest supplies anyways. We'll be taking a certain body back with us and handing it over to Kakuzu." I nodded slowly and turned the plant he'd given me between my fingers. Looked like belladonna.

"He should've already started by now..." Sasori said under his breath, "he's always late and making me wai—" A sudden explosion rang through the forest, a short wind blast followed thereafter. I blocked my eyes with my arm and tried to see what was happening. Once the gust died down, a flickering orange glow decorated the distant horizon.

"Hurry up, Mori-chan," the redhead ordered. I silently mocked him but still complied. Roughly 840 seconds after, fourteen minutes, Sasori had picked triple the amount I had in various kinds of plants. I gave him my small bundle sheepishly. A succession of explosions sounded, growing closer to us. Sasori put his supply away and groaned angrily. "Overdoing it again, of course." We walked to where Deidara dropped us off, watching as the sky lit up with each _bang!_ The bird that'd brought us swooped down and considering I wasn't expecting it to come so fast, Sasori grabbed the back of my shirt and yanked me with him onto it.

"What took you so long, Deidara?!" The shorter man demanded. Lightly scratched up with a body strewn over his shoulders, Deidara scowled at him, rightfully so. "Setting explosions off in unexpecting villages doesn't usually warrant an easy goodbye, hm." I stood at the end of the tail, watching the blaze that raged on below. Suddenly, a large mist-like cloud appeared just below us

"Looks like you have some unfinished business then," Sasori mused. Deidara made the bird go faster and knelt, setting the man he'd been holding down. When the large cloud dispersed, a large snake was reared up and seemed to be stretching toward us. I squinted my eyes and leaned forward, watching a figure run up the length of the animal. Once stepping on its snout, I could see the person was a girl. Long brown-haired, fair-skinned. The girl hurdled herself into the air, aiming toward us, kunai in hand. Gray eyes. I watched shock spread onto her face, and her purpose in attacking seemed to drain from her body. I could have sworn I was looking into a mirror. Michi. I wanted to yell Deidara's name, but I was paralyzed, unable to tear my eyes from this girl's or will my vocal cords to act accordingly. A chill ran over my body, and when I was almost positive time had come to a complete stop, she began falling from her jump. The snake she had summoned moved hastily to catch her. Her gaze was unwavering as she fell until her eyes finally screwed shut in a sort of mental agony.

"Sachi!" The name rang in my head. _Sachi, Sachi... _I reached out a bit, wishing I could catch her.

"W-wait!" I yelled, "_stop_!" I closed my eyes and clutched at my heart. I remembered her— maybe not much about her but I remembered her presence in my life, and I remembered the feeling I'd gotten when I saw her for the last time.

"Don't you dare, brat."

* * *

I couldn't stop crying. Deidara offered sweet words, but I couldn't bring myself to seriously turn them over in my head. All I knew was that something was wrong, I was the cause of it, and I wasn't sure of how to fix it. My name was Sachi, I had a family member who was likely my sister, named Michi, and Michi was as upset about seeing me as I was her. She was hurting as much as I was, if not exponentially more. I couldn't bring myself to say anything to Sasori or Deidara. I tried to memorize the land passing beneath us. I knew it wouldn't matter much, but it made it seem like I was doing something. I'd contemplated time after time just stepping off and letting myself land wherever I landed. I wanted to make myself care, but I honestly just couldn't. When we arrived back at the base, Sasori made his way in first, leaving Deidara to deal with carrying the body in and tending to me. I let myself slide off the bird and started toward the entrance. Deidara slipped his free arm around my shoulders and walked in with me.

When we entered the common room, we were greeted by Kisame, Itachi, Kakuzu, Hidan, and Tobi. Almost a full house. Kakuzu got up and started toward us. "It's about time," he spoke, annoyed, "I don't see how Sasori puts up with you." Deidara chuckled sheepishly, handing the man over to him. "Yeah, yeah, I—"

"Well, I don't see how anyone fucking puts up with him," I retorted, seething. My eyes were puffy and wet and the redness of them extended to my raw cheeks. Kakuzu recoiled a bit, and Hidan ran over and got way to close for comfort just so he could gawk at me. "Dude, seriously, what happened?!"

"Oh, nothing," I said sarcastically. "Nothing at all." I walked out and leaned against the wall of the hallway.

"What was that, seriously?" Hidan asked, incredulous.

"It's, uh... probably shouldn't talk about it for now," Deidara replied. "Sorry for the wait, Kakuzu, hm." Feeling the waterworks starting up again, I decided it was best to avoid either of the artists, so I headed to the unlit hallway and squatted, holding my head in my hands. Sobs wracked through my body, and with each one, I grew more convinced that if I'd actually died when Sasori made me, perhaps I'd have been better off. I didn't bother keeping up with how long I sat there. It didn't matter. I sensed someone walking down the hall toward me but didn't bother to move. The worst that could happen was them telling me to go cry somewhere else. To my surprise, however, squatting next to me, they remained silent.

"I know how badly you miss your family." I raised my head quickly, my crying halting for a moment all at once. "Y-you do..? I thought... you were here on purpose..."

"I am." I could tell from the voice that it was Itachi. "But just because I'm here doesn't mean that I don't miss anyone." He placed something on the ground and scooted it over to me. "Maybe you should start reading this more. I skimmed through it: it seems like an informative read, even if it doesn't end up helping you directly."

"Thanks... Itachi-san." I could feel the smallest of smiles radiate from him as he got up and walked to his room. I grabbed the book and brought it to my chest. I dried my face one last time and took a steady breath in. Crying wasn't going to fix anything. I forced my legs to carry my weight to the connecting hall. I pushed Sasori's door open and ignored the squeak. I pulled the chair I usually sat in next to him at his desk and sat down, void of any outward emotion. I tossed my book onto the bed and leaned back, watching him. Finally, he turned to return my gaze.

"What, are you pouting now?" He asked petulantly. "I don't have any sympathy fo—"

"Teach me how to use puppets," I cut him off. With crossed arms, I forced a smile. "Let's start now. Don't make me wait, Sasori-sama." The irritation adorning Sasori's face dissipated, and he returned me with a closed smile. "Well, now... what brought this on?"

"I want to learn from the best of course." He closed his eyes thoughtfully for a moment. "This brings back bittersweet memories from my childhood. I suppose I can show you a few things as long as you can let go of whatever grudge you're holding against me. I don't have time for that."

"Sure," I replied simply. I certainly wasn't going to be able to let it go, but I was good at pretending. He turned to a drawer and shuffled things around inside of it. "Start with... this. Take it with you everywhere. Make it move as you do." He place a small wooden puppet made up of ball joints in front of me.

"Making chakra strings is a little tricky at first, but you'll get the hang of it. Just focus, envision your chakra pooling at your fingertips and extending to your subject. Concentrate and experiment. Let me know when you get a hang of it."

"Do you have any books I could borrow? For starters, I guess?" I asked sheepishly. He chuckled lightly and walked to the bookcase not far from his work table. He ran a finger over come of the spines before plucking one and handing it to me. My grandmother gave this to me. Don't lose it."

"I won't."

* * *

"What're you doing exactly, Mori-chan, hm?" Mind totally transfixed, I'd managed to connect chakra strings to my little puppet. They were pretty weak, but I was making progress and feeling determined. Tongue stuck out barely, I'd almost failed to realize Deidara was even talking to me. "Uh... what?"

"Ugh... earth to Mori-chan!" He griped, "you're so weird, going from total breakdown to trying to impress Danna, hm." I looked up at him, my puppet falling as soon as my thoughts were torn from it. "Really! No, that's not it at all... I'm going out on a limb and assuming I used to be a kunoichi. I don't remember what jutsu I had or anything or if I was even any good... but I have slightly decent chakra control, so if I can hone some specific skill, I'll have a way to defend myself."

"From what exactly, hm?" He asked. Sitting on his bed, legs crossed, Deidara had been molding various sculptures for just as long as I'd been practicing my new "artform". I rolled my eyes and reattached the chakra strings. "Sasori-sama, obviously. If I can learn enough then I'll be able to make my own puppets..." I muttered, "Knowing him, he probably put a lot of work into making me, so I won't go down easily. I just need to learn everything I can, what my weaknesses are, what his are— that stuff." Temper flared, Deidara crushed what he'd been working on in his fist. "It's not like I wouldn't defend you, hm."

"I didn't say you wouldn't, but I can't drag you into my bullshit," I responded. "This is my problem, and I have to deal with it." A small laugh escaped him as he lie back. "You're planning on taking him out, hm?" He clicked his tongue a few times. "He has about twenty-ish years experience on you, y'know."

"I'm not planning on doing this all myself technically... I could easily run to Konoha and tell them he's coming to kill me," I explained, "then, when he shows up, I'll be able to help them fend him off. If he doesn't die, then hopefully he'd at least fuck off for a while." An awkward silence grew between us. I wanted to say something, but I wasn't sure what to say. A few minutes passed as we both worked our mediums. Deidara bit his lip and grunted. "I know you're not happy, but... would staying really be so bad, hm?" I stopped what I was doing and locked eye contact with him until, flustered, he turned away. I settled on the book Sasori had lent me, scanning the page I'd turned to. "I guess that's something I'll have to decide once I talk to Michi."

"Yeah, that's _so _promising, hm," he grumbled.

"Better question: would leaving really be so bad, Deidara-san?" I wanted to smack myself in the face. That was a stupid question.

"I didn't say it would be bad necessarily... but it'd be a lot less complicated if you just didn't go anywhere, hm." I felt my cheeks grow warm, "for some reason... I strongly doubt that." Deidara snickered, shrugging. "You're right, I shouldn't have said that. You walk into a room and everything turns to chaos, hm." Deciding to simply return his remark with a sarcastic smile.

"Keeps things interesting at least, hm."

"Yeah... will you go with me to Kumo?" I asked, my questions coming out in the form of word vomit.

"Ah, I was wondering when you'd ask, hm. I guess I can fit it into my schedule." Sheer excitement overcame me, but I did my best to contain it. No need to embarrass myself more than I already regularly managed to from day to day.


	11. Somewhere, Somewhere

I know this is kinda of a slow read, but I hope you'll enjoy. Thanks for reading, guys!

* * *

Seeing my puppets first steps was miraculous. I wouldn't have compared it to that of a child's first shaky, venturing footfalls, obviously, but for a technically inanimate object, I still caught myself feeling a tinge overwhelmed with emotion. They grow up so fast, right? Several days' time had passed since Sasori agreed to take me as his apprentice, and it was proving to be fairly entertaining although equally as frustrating. I wasn't sure why I'd been expecting otherwise, but he wanted perfection. Absolute. _Perfection._ On this particular day, said short-stack was upset I hadn't been able to use my chakra strings more efficiently yet, and I was pissed off that he wasn't cutting me any slack considering I was having to relearn how to control my chakra flow precisely. Imagine that. Seeing his partner in crime yell at someone other than him for around half an hour straight was oddly funny to him, and that was one reason why Deidara was an asshole. Regardless of my various forms of turmoil, I was doing my best to listen to Sasori and do everything he said as well as I could. At first, I hadn't been too sure about taking my little friend around with me everywhere, but that changed. We were two peas in a pod. Tobi had opted to name "her" Minimori. I wasn't a fan, but it was better than calling it "puppet", I'd supposed.

"Akamori-chan!" The thoughts circling my brain left as quickly as they'd come, and I looked over to my right quickly. A disgruntled redhead watched me angrily, tapping his pointer finger on the desk we sat at. "Quit wasting my time! If you're not even going to pay attention then go do something else." I felt my cheeks flush as I shook my head fervently. "I-I'm sorry! I'm paying attention... please, uh... repeat what you were saying..." Sasori emitted a deep sigh-like groan. He pointed to a specific paragraph out of one of the books he'd just pulled from his large collection and began reading it. Herbalism was interesting and all, but it just wasn't sticking at the moment.

"Y'know, actually, you're right: I don't want to waste your time," I started, standing up. "I'm not feeling too great, so if you give me a homework assignment, I'll have it finished in a little while." He gave me a irritated, watchful, nearly suspicious look then proceeded to shut the book and hand it to me. "Just read as much as you can, and try to memorize which plants can be used for poisons or cause adverse effects in the human body, and some that can be used in medicines. And try for once, please." I rolled my eyes and grabbed Minimori, exiting the room quickly. I walked in Deidara's room, finding it empty. I shrugged and sat at the lone desk in the room. He kept a notebook in one of the drawers, and I figured he wouldn't mind if I used it. I found a pen, set Minimori down, flipped both of the books open, and began taking notes. From what I'd noticed, this was how I retained information best. I skimmed through the textbook and wrote down things that sounded relevant to what Sasori had been mentioning. By the time I'd almost filled the front side of one page, the door opened and I turned back expecting to see Deidara walk in. Well, wrong door. A lone towel wrapped around his waist, Deidara stared at me, flustered but unmoving. I couldn't move my eyes from his. That would be too weird. But in my peripherals, beads of water clung to his fair skin that sat comfortably over his muscular form. I turned back to my work. "... don't."

"Oh, funny, hm! You have _got_ to quit coming in here without an invitation!" He retorted as he stomped over to his closet, then retreated back to the bathroom. "It's weird, hm!" I cocked my head to the side simply and tapped my chin a couple of times. "I never said I wasn't weird," I replied. "You should be used to this by now, y'know. I think I am at this point." He stuck his head through the now cracked door, still apparently upset. "Do you not have a concept of personal space, hm?!"

"Where else am I supposed to go?" I asked with a frown. "You let me sleep in bed with you! I thought it wouldn't be a big deal if I came in here to do some paperwork..." Fully dressed now, Deidara flopped onto his bed and stared at the textured ceiling. "God... I don't mind you coming in, I'd just like you to let me know or something, hm... What if I'd walked out naked just then?!" I blushed and eyed the floor. "Uh... good question." His vision snapped to me quickly. "What is _that _supposed to mean?" My eyes widened and met his. "I-I don't know! I'd probably cry!" He scoffed and laced his fingers beneath his head. "That's nice to hear, hm."

"N-no! You know what I mean! I'd probably avoid you and feel terrible for bothering you at the same time!" Deidara laughed and sighed. "Well, let's hope you never see me naked then... kind of disappointing, hm."

"What?!" I asked, utter shock escaping me. "Y-you're the one making such a big deal about this anyways!"

"Just let me know when you come in, okay, hm? You're so difficult..." Right, that was just me... being difficult... I got up and walked over to the bed, leaning over the blonde. His countenance faded to into soft surprise.

"Did you just say... that you wanted me to see you naked?" I asked in disbelief. His cheeks reddened and his eyes shifted to the side, "well, it was mostly a joke, hm..." I straightened up quickly and sprinted back to the seat, streams of "ohmygod,areyouserious,I'msosorry"s continually escaping me. I heard him snicker, but I decided to innocently glue myself to my assignment. Another reason proving Deidara was certainly an asshole. Within a few hours, I'd finally finished a large enough portion of my work to consider a break. I put my stuff into a neat pile and headed to the kitchen to get something to drink. Deidara had gone off somewhere earlier, though I figured nowhere too far. For a Thursday night, the living room was pretty loud. After getting a water bottle, I peeked my head into the room, feeling curious.

"Ah, come on, you old bastard! Let's go have some fun for once!" Hidan yelled, tugging on the tanned man's sleeve. The silver-haired man threw his other arm around Kisame's shoulders. Kisame bent down slightly, awkwardly, due to the height difference.

"You're coming, too, right?" The shorter man asked. Kisame gave an unsure chuckle.

"Can Tobi go?!" Said man pepped up from his spot on the couch. Itachi scooted away from him a bit.

"Uh, no. Faggots aren't allowed," Hidan said mockingly. "That means you either, Deidara!"

"Oh, fuck off, hm..." He replied, annoyed, though clearly used to pokes at his feminine appearance. "No one wants to go to a bar with you, you religious nutcase, hm."

"I'll pay you, Kakuzu," Hidan said in a low singsong voice. Silently, Kakuzu rose to his feet and patted his cloak down with eyes closed. "... fine."

"Ha!" Hidan yelled, only earning an unimpressed look from Deidara.

"Come onnn, guys. I'll buy you all a round?" Kisame finally sighed and agreed, then looked to Itachi, questioning; Itachi shrugged and got up and paced over to Kisame's side.

"All right... I guess you can come, Deidara," Hidan groaned jokingly, and Deidara waved him off.

"What if we got Mori-chan to go, huh?" Deidara shot him an unpleasantly sharp glare.

"Uh, s-sure!" I said as I walked in nervously. "Couldn't help but overhear you guys. You're... pretty loud." Hidan cackled and nudged Kisame with him elbow. "Man, this'll be fun! Oi, Deidara, I think she could probably out drink you!" Laughs rung out and Hidan, Kakuzu, Kisame, and Itachi made their way to the door; I looked over at Deidara. He didn't seem too happy. "What's wrong?"

"Drinking with Hidan is probably the worst thing you could ever do, hm. Especially if you don't really like him from the start."

"Well, I think I'm starting to get used to him. But why's that?" I asked. Deidara grabbed my wrist and pulled me with him, following after the others. "Just don't get mad if you get groped by him... or anyone else, hm." I hadn't really thought about that. I pursed my lips and sighed. "Well... guess that'll depend how much I've had to drink up to that point."

* * *

There was a small village toward the very outskirts of Konohagakure to the southwest where Hidan swore a decent-sized bar sat as the main, if not only, attraction of the town. For once, I had to agree with him. It was clean, well-lit, and fairly modern-looking despite being almost in the middle of nowhere. The village in itself seemed quiet— only a few people were scattered about the streets. When we walked in, Hidan got us a booth, and we all sat across from each other, and it felt weird. Considered all of them were top-ranked criminals, and I was a moderately— if that— skilled kunoichi that stuck out like a sore thumb around them. Hidan had demanded I sit first in an odd act of chivalry? I didn't question it, just scooted to the far side of the booth. Itachi sat next to me, and naturally, Kisame sat by him on the end. Deidara sat across from me, then Kakuzu and Hidan next to him. I was feeling pretty nervous. I didn't even know if I handled alcohol well. It would have been nice if Sasori had told me all of these things, but he had a great way of forcing me to find random trivial things out by myself. Forcing independence on me but demanding dependence on me: made sense.

I wasn't really partial to what we drank, so everyone decided on some warm sake. When it was brought to us, Hidan promptly poured each of our cups. He raised his to the middle of the table. "To a good night!" We clinked our small cups.

"You sure you're gonna be okay, hm?" Deidara asked me with a doubtful smile. The rest of the table looked at me, wondering the same thing. I felt my face grow red and I crossed my arms. "Hey, you guys can't make fun of me... this is going to be like my first taste of alcohol all over again..."

"Oh, shit, that's right!" Hidan beamed at me. "You're gonna be, like, off your ass in a little bit, man!"

"C'mon, we won't say anything, Mori-chan!" Kisame said. He didn't sound at all convincing in the least. I held my cup carefully. "Quit looking at me!" They snickered a little bit but obliged. I took a small sip and swallowed, my throat feeling as if it'd lit on fire as the liquid descended my esophagus. I coughed, wincing, and set the cup down, waiting on the eruption of laughter. A little late but it certainly came. Itachi cracked a smile, even.

"Not that bad, right?" Kisame asked.

"Fuck you guys," I muttered. I picked the cup up and downed the rest of it just to slam it down. "I've got you all beat right now, y'know." Hidan and Kisame went on to guzzle their drinks down and go for seconds while Itachi and Kakuzu took their time; sipping sake was tradition anyways. Deidara swirled his drink absentmindedly. I got my second drink and eyed him thoughtfully. "You okay?"

"Ah, yeah... I just have a bad feeling I guess, hm," he responded quietly. I gave him a sympathetic look. "Well, don't feel forced or anything." The blonde smirked and nodded once, taking a sip of his drink.

I wasn't sure why I was surprised, but Kakuzu, Itachi, and Deidara tapped out pretty early at about their second or third drink. Hidan, Kisame, and I were on five or so, and I felt stupid for trying to prove a point to them that I wasn't some lame kid. Deidara nudged me in the shin with his foot and silently suggested I tap out, too.

"I'm not even feeling it yet, but you're probably right," I said with a giggle.

"Whoa... that was the girliest noise I've ever heard you make..." Hidan mused. I threw my cup at his head and looked around as if nothing happened.

"Hey, it w-wasn't a fucking insult!" He hiccupped. "Maybe it was kinda cute!" I blushed, feeling secondhand embarrassment. "You're drunk."

"Drunk words... are sober thoughts," Kisame said coyly, holding his cup up slightly. His words were a bit slurred, but he laughed and downed more of the sake. I rolled my eyes and set my cup in the middle of the table to join the others that were finished. I yawned and rubbed my eyes slowly; I rarely felt tired, but when I did, it made me feel like a real person. _Crack!_ My eyes shot open to find blood cascading down Hidan's face from his nose. His neck looked broken the way his head sat back pressed onto his shoulders. His hands flew to cover his nose. "What the _fuck_?! What in Jashin's fucking _name_ was that?!" His yells almost came as shrieks ringing through the place. Shaky and beyond absolutely furious, he reached his bloody hands to the back of his head and forced it up back into place as best as he could. The noise made me want to vomit.

"Seriously, what the _fuck_?!" He got up, holding his noise once more. Grabbing his scythe, he started looking around shiftily. The rest of us were in shock, except for Itachi maybe. Hidan picked up on that. "Uchiha, did you see what just happened?" Itachi looked at him, face as blank as a stone slate. "A young girl hit you in the face with a baseball bat." Hidan's purple irises seemed to quiver. "You couldn't say something sooner, you fuck?"

"I'm not your babysitter," he replied. A bar worker nervously walked over and bowed. "I-I'm sorry, but we, uh... need you to lea—"

"We are leaving! Fuck off!" He yelled and unsteadily stomped to the exit. The employee scurried away. I looked at Deidara, surprise totally washed over my face. I wasn't sure if it wasn't because of the shock or the sake, but everything was becoming blurry. Kisame covered the tab and as we were all getting up, I pushed off of the seat to stand but realized that I was totally fucked. "Ohhh... my god... I'm fucking drunk." I carefully stood and tried to remain stable on legs that felt like nothing more than jello. My mind was almost totally gone. The room was spinning and a black ring encased my field of vision. "It just... hit. Hit me." Deidara sighed and pulled me by my arms onto his back. My legs dangled off of the ground loosely.

"This isn't going to work, hm..." He grumbled. He rearranged and held me, one hand in the bend of my knees, the other circling my shoulders. "C'mon, we need to find where he went. He's probably killed everyone in sight by now, hm." Sadly, that wasn't entirely sarcasm and we all knew it. My head was swimming; I couldn't feel my limbs. The only things I could register were Deidara's face above mine and how strangely nice the breeze felt. Everything else flew right over me. In a weird way, this moment felt absurdly nice, and I caught myself wishing stupid stuff. Maybe in another universe, another timeline, he was holding me this way, but I was sober and we were somewhere nice, somewhere the breeze felt this nice, talking about any and everything in between.


End file.
